Guys, former mythical hero Kevin Sorbo has shared his enlightened, galaxy-brain thoughts on women’s rights! I know, I know, try to contain your excitement.
Remember when Sorbo used to battle hydras and harpies on the small screen? Well, now he spends his days slaying common sense on social media. This time he has taken a break from his grueling schedule of starring in straight-to-VHS Christian movies and hawking right-wing merchandise to enlighten us all. In a recent Twitter screed, Sorbo mansplained that “abortion is not healthcare” and compared it to slavery.
Quick, someone check if he’s been possessed by the spirit of a 19th-century fire-and-brimstone preacher! Or maybe, Kevin is again spending too much time on Conservapedia, the bizarro right-wing version of Wikipedia. But at least he’s teaching us something after a 30-year acting career circling the drain.
Those in the replies had a field day with Sorbo’s revelation. He was thoroughly roasted on Twitter, with countless users telling him to stay in his lane and stick to selling Trump t-shirts.
Watching Sorbo get roasted was more entertaining than any of his recent movies. Kevin, I know critical thinking isn’t exactly your strong suit. But do us all a favor and try to extract the cranium from your rectum and try to wrap around this simple concept: abortion is healthcare.
The reason it’s called “healthcare” is because it is a medical procedure that can save women’s lives and protect their well-being. There! How hard was it to realize that? A report by Advanced New Standards In Reproductive Health (ANSIRH) found that women who were denied abortions were more likely to experience serious complications from pregnancy, more likely to stay tethered to abusive partners, and more likely to experience anxiety and loss of self-esteem compared to women who received abortions.
Of course, none of these pesky “facts” or “statistics” matter to Kevin. Comparing a medical procedure to slavery isn’t just weapons-grade stupid, it’s pants-on-head, paint-chip-eating levels of ignorant and offensive.
Then again, maybe I’m being too harsh on old Sorbo. In the late 90s, Sorbo apparently suffered a series of strokes and aneurysms while filming Hercules. According to one Reddit medical sleuth, this may have impacted the part of his brain that “knows what words mean and how they work.” That’s speculation. But you’ve got to admit, it’s a pretty compelling explanation for why Sorbo’s spewing random deranged word salad.
