As election season officially restarts, thanks to Kamala Harris announcing Tim Walz as her running mate, a new anthem has emerged that deserves to be sung across the country in the run-up to the fateful day that is Nov. 5, 2024. Take a bow, Nick Offerman, who has once again reminded us why he’s an underrated national treasure with this brutal Trump takedown, which also happens to be an absolute banger.
The Parks & Recreation legend took part in the Comics for Kamala online fundraiser on Monday and shared a song he’d written himself that appeals to a specific, but likely ever-growing, group of voters. Offerman noted that there may be many “Kamala-curious” Republicans out there who were once loyal to Donald Trump but are now being swayed over to the Democratic side thanks to the GOP candidate’s recent downturn of fortunes (and possibly mental faculties).
Like Ron Swanson getting his Duke Silver on, Offerman serenaded any wavering Trump worshippers out there with his genius musical number, which brilliantly skewers Trump’s favorite rally anthem, “God Bless the U.S.A.” Reminding us just how insane the presidential race has been so far, Offerman manages to fill the lyrics with references to everything from Trump’s shark and batteries ramblings to J.D. Vance turning out to be sofa-sexual.
“I don’t mind sex with porn stars — I’d do it too, if I had the guts,” Offerman sings, in his very NSFW song. “But when it comes to f***ing the furniture. Well, that’s just f***ing nuts.”
He continues, while playing the acoustic guitar with an entirely straight face: “So I’m proud to be a Kamala man who has quit the GOP, ’cause I just can’t abide a man who’s tried for 34 felonies. And it’s time to stand up and face the fact that the men that I once cheered are a bunch of wingnut white nationalists. Well, those guys are f***ing weird.”
The song itself is a masterclass in MAGA-roasting, but the wonky captions on this particular upload of the song from TikToker @thedudetrader make the whole thing even funnier. The auto-generated captions, for instance, translate J.D. Vance into “Shady Vans,” and we are all now legally required to call him that and only that for the remainder of the race. Offerman’s assertion that he looks like a “baby’s butt underneath that creepy beard” will also be hard to shake off.
The full 3-hour Comics for Kamala livestream — which raised over $530,000 for Harris’ campaign — can be viewed in its entirety here, with the likes of Ben Stiller, Kathy Griffin, Tiffany Haddish, Rosie O’Donnell, and John Stamos also joining in with the Trump-kicking fun. Still, Offerman definitely stole the show by using Trump’s own favorite song against him. If there’s any justice, he’ll be asked to sing it live at the DNC.