Donald Trump is the person you should go to for advice about your hair, a logical explanation of how the tax system works, and now he has an idea for a great Christmas present.
The president-elect (still not used to writing and thinking those words) posted on Truth Social that people should purchase the God Bless The USA Bible. Oh yes, it really has that name and it really exists. Trump wrote, “Faith is coming back to America, and FAST! The perfect gift for this Christmas is the God Bless The USA Bible.” And, just in case you were hoping this would be the case, “Also available are signed copies.”
I wasn’t aware that this even existed so, if you’ve been blissfully living your life like me without that knowledge, here’s some more info. According to the book’s official website, this Bible is “Easy-to-read, large print, and slim design.” Large print? Hey, reading can be hard. In 1987, Trump appeared on the CNN show Crossfire and said, “Well, I have a number of favorite authors. I think Tom Wolfe is excellent.” He said he didn’t read Bonfire of the Vanities and then, a second later, said, “I really liked Tom Wolfe’s last book,” which was, yes, Bonfire of the Vanities. It’s nice to know he’s consistent, at least. George Costanza did say, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.”
This Bible also “invites you to explore God’s Word anywhere, any time,” which, sure, is how books typically work. There’s nothing stopping you from bringing any book any place you want. But honestly, Christmas might not be the right venue. Hasn’t Trump heard the assertion that religion and politics are the two trickiest subjects to talk about with family? Apparently, no one really wants to dive into the Bible with anyone else, either.
Pew Research discovered for 16% of Americans, religion is “never” something they would chat about with someone they aren’t related to, and 33% “seldom” discuss this subject. Maybe they would if they bought the God Bless The USA Bible. It’s so easy to read, after all. According to Metro.uk, people also don’t want to chat about the house-buying process, dating, and weight at Christmas. Let’s add Trump to the list of things to avoid talking about this year. That’s one way to make it anything but a happy holiday.
Just in case you wanted to purchase the God Bless The USA Bible, it’s $59.99 USD. Plus shipping (of course). You do get some bang for your buck, though, as it includes The Pledge of Allegiance, The Declaration of Independence, The Bill of Rights, the US Constitution, and God Bless The USA lyrics. Trump’s signed version is $1,000 U.S., though, so unless you really love your aunt, that might be a little steep.
It might be a better idea to get her a scented candle instead. However, you can rest assured, as is explained in the FAQ section, “Yes, this is the only Bible endorsed by President Trump! And one of the FAQs is “Is this a good gift?” so Trump was simply giving the people what they want and answering this crucial query in his Truth Social post. And if you aren’t sure your family member would appreciate this Bible, what about the Make America Prey Again Hat? That should make for a pleasant Christmas dinner discussion.