Joe Biden will go down as one of the worst presidents in American history. Under his tenure reproductive rights were obliterated, inflation skyrocketed, climate change continued unabated and his hands are indelibly stained with the blood of the Gaza genocide. All of which paved the way for Donald Trump Part II, which many of us may not survive.
Then again, given his obvious mental deterioration, perhaps we shouldn’t blame him too much. For many months before the election it was apparent that Biden’s mind wasn’t what it once was. His team casually dismissed concerning videos as “cheap fakes,” assuring us that despite what we could see with our own eyes, the emperor was indeed wearing clothes.
That lie collapsed the moment he stepped onto the stage to debate Donald Trump, when the story that all was well with Biden became untenable. After the most excruciatingly awful debate performance ever, he was forced to drop out, leaving Kamala Harris with a losing hand to play. Her misjudged campaign didn’t exactly help matters, but it’s Biden’s fault Trump and the Republicans strolled to election victory, winning every swing state and the popular vote.
Now, Biden is the lamest of lame-duck presidents, being awkwardly shuttled between press appearances with the affable but confused air of a man who should be sat on a porch feeding pigeons, not in charge of the world’s biggest nuclear arsenal.
Anyhow, this week Biden has been in the Brazilian Amazon talking about how the fight against climate change has been a “defining” part of his presidency. Given that climate scientists have just said the goal to keep temperature rises below 1.5C is “deader than a doornail” and freak weather events are on the rise around the world, we’re unsure exactly what Biden thinks he’s achieved, though he can at least be comforted he’ll be pushing up daisies by the time society collapses.
Biden ended his speech by waving and wandering off into the rainforest. If he had any sense of drama, he’d have kept on walking:
it would be so funny if this is how his presidency ended. months before his term ends, he just walks into the rainforest and is never seen again
— jeremy kaplowitz (@jeremykaplowitz.com) November 17, 2024 at 10:29 PM
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The replies concur, seeing in Biden the potential for an Apocalypse Now-style revelation:
— cathygee.bsky.social (@cathygee.bsky.social) November 17, 2024 at 10:37 PM
The malarkey….the malarkey
— Pope of Chili Town (@popeofchilitown.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 12:08 AM
I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. Thats my dream, Jack!
— Lee Harvey Ozzfest (@aching-amplitudes.bsky.social) November 17, 2024 at 10:41 PM
Others have a less highbrow reference:
He was in the Amazon with my mom researching spiders right before she died
— Kevin, MD (@kevinbones.bsky.social) November 17, 2024 at 10:53 PM
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But perhaps, against all odds, he’d make a new life for himself in the jungle:
…until three years later, when the country is on the brink of total destruction. Then, out of the blue, Feral Jungle Biden emerges from the wilderness, an army of jungle animals by his side, ready to take it all back. Make America Wild Again.
— K L Mitchell (@klmitchell.bsky.social) November 17, 2024 at 11:01 PM
Every village Chief is given the ceremonial title "Corn Pop"
— Connoisseur of Fine Internets (@internet-man.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 1:21 AM
(Allegedly the last known photo of 46th President of the United States, Joseph Biden, taken by hikers outside Manaus, Brazil, 2032.)
— Elagabalus🌻 (@helias.bsky.social) November 17, 2024 at 11:58 PM
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Unfortunately, Biden doesn’t seem to be going gracefully into the night. In a move that feels ripped out of the opening scenes of a disaster movie, Biden just approved the use of long-range U.S.-made missiles against targets deep within Russia. He might be a lame duck, but it seems there’s still time for World War III to kick off under his watch!
Published: Nov 18, 2024 10:05 am