Welcome to week three in Donald Trump’s chaotic America, where no decision is permanent and few politicians are qualified.
Trump and his base have been raging against DEI for months, firmly fingering it as the root of America’s problems. While his administration swears that diversity, equity, and inclusion have eroded the foundations of our government, he’s stacked his cabinet with so many unqualified incompetents that we have to assume he only takes resumes from the “rejects” pile. It’ll be a fascinating four years as his Kabinet of Korrupt Kooks speed-runs Anthony Scarmucci’s record for shortest time in office.
Showing off his “true genius,” Trump has decided that the U.S. should simply “take over” Gaza, even though essentially everyone but Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu thinks it’s a bad idea. But if it means the rich have somewhere else they don’t have to pay taxes, it’s almost certain to reach fruition. Upping the bad decision ante, the president is also suing CBS for $10 billion (yes, you read that correctly) for how the network edited Kamala Harris’ 60 Minutes interview. We aren’t sure what’s making our eyes water more — the absurd amount of money, or the tears of laughter over the demise of Fox News (we’re devastated for you, Jesse Watters.)
Meanwhile, perpetual screecher Marjorie Taylor Greene is gushing about her favorite boss on X, but her word choice is way too close to how pet parents gush about their elderly dogs on an energetic day. Sure, that poochie dodders sometimes, but boy, is she “healthy” and “sharp” today! When she’s not scrawling “Mrs. Marjorie Trump” in her diary, the Georgian is happily accusing the left of trying to plan an insurrection — something she suddenly has a problem with despite January 6 now being a household name and date.
Democrats — and even some RINO Republicans — aren’t taking Trump’s nonsense lying down. Minority leader Hakeem Jeffries has been flexing his chops, proving he was the right person to succeed Nancy Pelosi, and right alongside him is former congressman Adam Kinzinger, who’s willing to pick fights with Trump and Musk even though he left office in 2023. It just goes to show that even when everything seems to be going wrong, there are still plenty of people willing to fight for what’s right.
Tim Walz says what we’re all thinking about President Elon Musk
Much has been said about the tragedy of Kamala Harris not making it into the White House, but let’s also extend a sympathetic hug to her running mate Tim Walz, who was likewise denied the chance to spend four years as vice president/America’s slightly boring if benign uncle.
Technically, he’s been supplanted by JD Vance, but, come on ⏤ we all know who Trump’s real number two is. It’s the Evil Emperor of X himself, everyone’s least-favorite Iron Man 2 guest star, the high-falutin’, Twitter-pollutin’, Nazi-salutin’ Elon Musk. This week, Walz reminded us all how much saner things could have been if he and Harris were in power by offering his scathing take on Trump’s administration thus far ⏤ in the form of a sassy clapback against Musk on his own platform, no less.
“Elon Musk is a terrible president,” Walz tweeted, which manages to be a glorious dig at both President Musk and Whatever Trump Is in one beautifully biting six-word package. Tim, buddy: where was this kind of sass during the election campaign? Not to pin all this on you, but maybe — just maybe — if you had displayed a little more of this energy last fall, Andy Samberg wouldn’t have lost out on a recurring SNL gig for the next four years.
Donald Trump’s tyrannical tantrum continues with fresh threats aimed at Gaza and 60 Minutes
No one can throw a fit quite like Donald J. Trump, and he’s making sure no one forgets it as he pursues dual attacks against very different targets. The first is 60 Minutes, and by extension CBS News, which Trump aims to sue for an eye-watering $10 billion. He’s accusing the network of trying to “mislead the public” with its 2024 coverage of Kamala Harris ⏤ never mind that he declined his own invitation to appear on the show. If he succeeds in his brazen attack on the First Amendment, it’ll be bad news for us all — not the least of whom being his own crazed cronies over at Fox News.
But it’s Trump’s threats toward Gaza that are really stirring up ire across the globe following the brainless Commander-in-Chief’s assertion that the United States should simply “take over” Gaza. He and his wealthy, soulless peers see the area as a lucrative business opportunity and are not overly concerned about the more than 2 million people who live there. After all, they can just shift them out (who cares about the “where”), claim their land (that they have exactly zero right to), and reshape it into something that further enriches them, right? But yeah, Kamala Harris was too “pro-Israel.”
To get the rest of the political tea, which this week includes actual leadership from Hakeem Jeffries and Adam Kinzinger, MTG’s growing thirst for Toddler Trump, and Jasmine Crockett’s view on “mediocre white boys,” be sure to sign up for WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.
Published: Feb 7, 2025 03:53 pm