Grab your barf bags, kittens. Donald “I-don’t-need-sleep-I-need-attention” Trump has, against all odds (and common sense), managed to con his way back into the White House ⏤ and if that wasn’t enough of a kick in the teeth, the rest of the clown car is following closely behind, honking their novelty horns and spraying seltzer water in the faces of anyone who dares stand in their way.
Seriously, though, how the hell did we end up here? Did someone slip something into our collective water supply? It makes one wonder if RFK Jr.’s diatribes about water chemicals turning the frogs — and presumably our better judgment — gay might not be so far-fetched after all. There’s a hint of truth in the madness, or maybe it’s just the same brand of lunacy that has Trump’s galaxy-brain cronies outright denying the existence of “germs.”
The same science that baffles these political savants is desperately needed to explain how these relics of reason keep getting recycled into power. However, this week, the dumpster fires pretending to be public servants are flaring up with a vengeance, searing any remaining hopes of sanity.
The last person anyone expects calls for an un-Republican response to the election results
The election is officially in the rear-view, and as Democrats continue to reel from the brazen stupidity displayed by our countrymen, those same countrymen are reveling in an unprecedented victory. Donald Trump is a man who doesn’t understand how time zones work, who is so self-obsessed that he’s more than willing to irritate or offend a foreign leader with a middle-of-the-night phone call, and now he’s in charge for four more years. I’m already exhausted.
That exhaustion is being felt across the country, and it’s weirdly offset (or maybe amplified, depending on your take) by a truly unexpected figure calling for unity. Kid Rock — the same man who once threatened to body slam Democrats — now wants the country to “come together” under our incoming president, but unity is no longer an option.
The party of ‘your body, our choice’ already has plans to further dictate our bodies and decisions
Within hours of Trump’s Nov. 5 victory, toxicity was spreading like COVID did during his shameful first term. The willfully ignorant masses who rode Trump’s coattails to reelection are absolutely giddy in the wake of his victory, and they’re already making plans to further rob Americans of their rights. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Georgia’s most embarrassing decision, is already making plans that will lead to the loss of young trans lives, and the Cheeto man isn’t even in office yet.
The heartless harpy even found a single moment of clarity between reacting to the elevation of two sex traffickers into vital government positions. The scarecrow of the Republican party came so close to earning a brain when she noted the genuine devastation felt by Trump’s detractors, but then quickly reestablished her empty-headed position when she blamed the whole thing on the media. So close, yet so far.
To get the rest of the tea, which this week includes a petulant patsy’s tantrum, a horde of old men giving Trump the middle finger, and Melania becoming a full-blown snub monster, be sure to sign up for WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.