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Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) films a video of herself before attending a briefing by U.S. Secret Service officials on the cocaine substance found at the White House on July 13, 2023 in Washington, DC. U.S. Secret Service officials briefed members of the House Oversight Committee about the discovery of the substance in the lobby area of the West Wing and announced that their investigation had been concluded after finding no suspect. (Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)
Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Lauren ‘my son makes naughty videos with minors’ Boebert is now in desperate need of your money

It's about accountability, unless she's the one who has to be accountable.

Well folks, no one’s perfect. We can’t all be expected to live like angels, but shouldn’t our elected leaders be held to at least somewhat of a higher standard? In the case of Lauren “feel me up in a theater” Boebert here, I’m not sure that’s possible. Lauren Boebert wants your money though, that much is for sure. On Monday, she sent out a tweet begging for cash, but it begs the question, if you can’t even control your own household, should you be a Congresswoman?

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Boebert obviously has people behind her that know what they’re doing. Look, a job is a job and I get that, but it feels like she’s on a sinking ship, and no amount of begging will help. Oh, and there’s the whole household thing. Let’s explain. Boebert’s son Tyler Boebert was recently arrested on charges he broke into someone’s car, stole their credit cards and then used them. Who uses stolen credit cards? Have they not seen any movie where police are trying to find a criminal? What do they do? Track credit cards!

The card was reportedly used at four (!) separate locations. It gets better. Tyler was seen on surveillance footage wearing a “Shooters Grill” hoodie. Take a wild guess who used to be a part owner of the Shooters Grill restaurant. Did you guess Congresswoman Boebert? Bingo. Look, we’ve all been young and done dumb stuff, and considering his mother dropped out of high school and only got a GED months before being elected, the apple obviously doesn’t fall far from the tree.

That would be a forgivable offense, but it turns out it gets worse. While investigating, police allege that Tyler made a sex tape with a minor. The minor said it was sent around to “people they knew.” That one’s a little harder to explain, if it turns out to be true. My point is this is a Congresswoman. If she’s out getting felt up at movie theaters how’s her son supposed to not be like that too? Well, Congresswoman Lauren wants you to forget all that, and fast, because she’s desperate for your money.

“Let’s do a Monday MAGA Monday Money Bomb!,” she said earlier this week. “As you know, I’m in the fight of my political career in Colorado’s 4th District. The establishment has done all they can to take me out and without the funds to fight back, they just might win!”

Click the link and it takes you to a place where you can give between $25 and $1,000. This woman wants your money. You can pay her every month if you want to! “The Democrats and left-wing media can’t stand that we’ve made the House more accountable to YOU,” she says. Oh, is this about accountability? Is she going to hold her son accountable for what he did?

The worst part? It’s working. Boebert has almost $1.3 million in hand and she raised $540k last quarter. This puts her way ahead of her opponents, including Sen. Jerry Sonnenberg (R) who raised $154k and has $151k on hand, or Puter Yu, who has $254k on hand and gave himself a personal loan of $250k. Fortunately, her path to reelection is getting more complicated by the day.

We’ll just have to wait and see how this plays out. In the meantime, she can always go to the theater again.


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Author
Image of Jon Silman
Jon Silman
Jon Silman is a stand-up comic and hard-nosed newspaper reporter (wait, that was the old me). Now he mostly writes about Brie Larson and how the MCU is nose diving faster than that 'Black Adam' movie did. He has a Zelda tattoo (well, Link) and an insatiable love of the show 'Below Deck.'