It’s truly delightful to see how dedicated our elected officials are to ensuring our country stays focused on the things that matter. Take Marjorie Taylor Greene, for example; the Republican is tirelessly working to push through radical change where it matters most: along our southern border.
No, she’s not throwing her hat in the wall conversation, or even weighing in on immigration; rather, the Georgia Republican is taking care of an issue that has twisted her party’s panties for weeks — that darn Gulf of Mexico and its deeply disrespectful, un-American name. Never fear; Greene is more than prepared to push through the legislation to make this 5-minute distraction dream a lifelong reality.
Trump’s inauguration showed that big tech companies are more than happy to acquiesce to the president’s whims to get ahead. The sector donated more money to his inauguration than any candidate in history, and Trump rewarded them by letting them stand behind him like obedient, billion-dollar dogs as he was sworn in.
Google CEO, Sundar Pichai, was one of the chosen few, so his quick deference to the name change should come as no surprise. Google Maps is happily falling in line with Trump’s fever-dream-inspired executive order to change the Gulf’s name from “the Gulf of Mexico,” which it’s been called since Spanish Conquistadors first mapped out the North and South American shorelines, to “The Gulf of America,” which sounds a lot like a depressing waterpark one might find in Wisconsin.
It’s important to note here that Marge is right: Executive orders aren’t laws, and unless she manages to pass this into law, it’s a short-term win. The Georgia Republican is already posturing for Papa President and introduced the “Gulf of America Act” as her first bill of the year because, “It’s our gulf. The rightful name is the Gulf of America and it’s what the entire world should refer to it as.”
In accordance with Trump’s wishes, Google announced on Jan. 27 that it intends to not only update the body of water’s name, but it also intends to change the name of Mt. Denali, an important Native American landmark, back to Mt. McKinley, a name it was given in the late 1800s in support of then-presidential candidate William McKinley. Yes, it totally tracks for Trump to feel for a man who so wrongfully had his name stricken from something he had no hand in finding, building, or even naming.
It’s the sort of useless culture war issue that Republicans constantly blame Democrats for, but naturally the MAGA crowd is completely on board. Even as egg prices hit $10.99 across the state, now the only thing conservatives are worried about is the name of an ever-popular Spring Break destination. X.com users joyfully crooned over the perceived victory in pointless patriotism, not seeing it as any sort of publicity stunt, but rather as Daddy Trump doing serious business in his big boy pants.
“Winning! You know they REALLY didn’t want to do that,” one hopeless Trumper wrote on x.com. “Let’s keep pushing for that patriotic permanence,” added another, because nothing says patriotism like wastefully forcing updates to textbooks and maps—unless, of course, those updates allow for a slew of misinformation to be printed as well.
The real reason Trump and his useless cronies are so desperate to force this through is that it gives the perception of accomplishing something while really doing nothing of substance. As Trump boasts and blusters about changing Mt. Denali to Mt. McKinley, or the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, he’s doing incredible damage to millions of Americans below the poverty line by pausing government aid programs, deporting family members, and forcing government employees out of jobs. Unless Greene succeeds in getting the EO translated into a law, it’s just useless posturing—but then again, that’s what people like Trump and Greene do best.
Published: Jan 28, 2025 7:49 PM UTC