Marjorie Taylor Greene unlocks a new level of Bellatrix with inane endorsement of Trump’s unthinkable Amazon cart

Marjorie Taylor Greene is approaching the endgame of unhinged flair. Once again, she leveled up by farming her favorite subject, Donald Trump‘s patriotism.

After spotting a meme of Donald Trump gazing wistfully at an Amazon shopping list consisting of Canada, Greenland, and the Panama Canal, Marjorie got a bit overexcited at the idea. Apparently, Marjorie was ready to crown Canada as the 51st state, annex Greenland as the 52nd, and reclaim the Panama Canal a long time ago. She was just waiting for Trump to hint at the idea, so she could jump aboard.

To reassure you, you are not living in Russia; the 20th-century land disputes must have confused you. It’s just that Trump decided that fighting over foreign territory was what Americans needed right now.

Here’s a history lesson, for Marjorie’s sake. Canada, the would-be 51st state in Marjorie’s alternate universe, was never ours. Not in a “finders-keepers” sense, not in a “maybe-if-we-try-hard-enough” sense. Sure, we flirted with the idea during the War of 1812, when we invaded, stuck around for a hot second, and then got booted out like a bad Tinder date. Canada’s sovereignty was officially sealed in 1867, and they’ve been doing just fine without us.

And Greenland, the 52nd state on this geopolitical bingo card, is not some ice-covered impulse buy you can add to your cart next to bulk paper towels. During World War II, the U.S. occupied Greenland to keep it out of Nazi hands, but we handed it back like responsible renters. It’s an autonomous territory of Denmark—not a vacation home for Uncle Sam.

The Panama Canal, which Marjorie rants was “given away,” was never U.S. territory. The U.S. built and operated the canal under treaty agreements, keyword agreements. In the late 1970s, we negotiated its gradual handover to Panama, which took full control in 1999. It wasn’t so much “given away” as it was… returned to the rightful owner.

But we don’t think that Marjorie needs a history lesson. This isn’t just historical illiteracy; it’s deliberate misinformation. Marjorie, like Trump, knows the power of a good lie. Her post doesn’t have to make sense—it just has to stoke resentment, paint a picture of America as a victim, and keep the “we should take back what’s ours” fantasy alive. This is typical Trump camp behavior. Spew lies, and hope that someone bites. Marjorie knows that anyone who does a quick Google search will find out the truth, but she doesn’t care. It’s not about the truth; it’s about loyalty to the narrative. And we hate to admit that it’s working.

Marjorie knows exactly what she’s doing, and that should worry all of us more than her next post. So, let’s make things clear. Canada was never ours to give away, Greenland is not for sale, and the Panama Canal was managed, not owned.