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‘Most of us are so sick of their crap’: Majorie Taylor Greene announces that she wants a divorce

WE ACCEPT.

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Photo by Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images

When Marjorie Taylor Greene asks you for a divorce, you sprint to the courts. This is your one and only chance to be rid of the woman, after all — why wouldn’t you seize the opportunity?

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Well America, here’s our shot. Greene announced in an overly lengthy and utterly childish post to X that she believes divorce is the best route forward, and I couldn’t agree more. Let’s cut our losses, Margie, and go our separate ways. We’ll take the kids — pretty sure you wouldn’t pass a psych eval anyway — and you can take the rotten orange stinking up the back seat.

Unfortunately, Greene’s inane ramblings about divorce won’t actually free the nation from her under-abundance of wisdom anytime soon. Instead, she’s making threats about a “national divorce” to try and cow blue states, and it’s serving the opposite purpose. Greene’s offer is actually looking pretty enticing, with another Donald Trump presidency looming.

To be clear, there’s no chance that blue states — or red states, for that matter — are prepping to separate themselves from the country as a whole and try to make it on their own. That’s an absurd assertion, and one without a lick of sense behind it — which also makes it perfectly on-brand for Greene.

Apparently Greene is in full support of a “national divorce” if Democratic states don’t get in line with Trump’s insane agenda propositions. If we’re not willing to treat trans people as less than human, engage in lawless deportation efforts, and cut every necessary government body while beefing up spending elsewhere, apparently we no longer belong in this country. “If Democrat governors plan to commit treason against our President and the majority of Americans then let them destroy their own states,” Greene wrote. “No one will want to live there.”

First off, treason?! The rhetoric is really ramping up in that vacant, cacophonous pit Marge calls a brain, but it seems she lost her dictionary in her first divorce. People aren’t actually slapped with treason charges for disagreeing with their government, nor for refusing to enact heartless policies just because their president told them to. Otherwise, we’d have a bulky number of government officials in prison, right alongside Marge herself.

What crime could she have possibly committed to earn such a sentence, I hear you ask? Why treason, of course! She completely wrote off governmental directions during COVID, after all, and as we all know it’s a high crime to dismiss orders from the Oval Office.

In all seriousness, Greene’s tweet is as utterly vacant as the bleach blonde baboon herself. Not only is it absurd to claim that the U.S. is just going to cut away any of its dissenting states, but it actually sounds like a beautiful alternative to nearly everyone in those “deranged” left-leaning states. A tiny nation devoid of the heartless egomaniacs increasingly making up our government? Sign me the hell up.

If we were ever truly going to carve away a portion of the U.S. of A, I think we all know who would go first. Sorry Florida, but you’re practically detached anyway, and if it means losing Mar-a-Lago, Ron DeSantis, and the bloodsucking ghouls running rampant across the state all in one go, it’s hard to argue against that national divorce Greene is salivating over.

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