‘Other things to do’: Trump says there’ll be no Epstein investigation, now insists he had ‘nothing to do’ with him

Donald Trump, a man mentioned 38,000 times in the Epstein files, has indicated there will be no further investigation into the crimes exposed within. And, in fact, he’d really just rather you move on from this and talk about something – anything – else.

Trump, whose personal relationship with Epstein is absurdly well-documented, says this is all just a load of fuss about nothing and that, if anything, it’s his political opponents who have been damaged by this. Speaking to reporters in the Oval Office, Trump attempted to wash his hands of the whole debacle:

Trump: “I have nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein…And, frankly, the DOJ, I think should just say, ‘We have other things to do.’” pic.twitter.com/T7lvOeDTGw

— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) February 15, 2026

“I have nothing to do with Jeffrey Epstein. And in fact, if you look at the DoJ they announced that.. uh y’know, they released three million pages, it’s like this is all they’re supposed to be doing and frankly I think the DoJ should just say ‘we have other things to do’.”

“Nothing on me!”

By this, Trump presumably means legally persecuting his enemies and making sure countless millions of dollars slide neatly into his personal bank account. Anyway, Trump continued:

I mean other than Bill Clinton… you know, Bill Gates and lots of other people that have… a lot of questions about them. Nothing on me. But it was sort of even better than that, because they found that Jeffrey Epstein and this sleazebag writer named Michael Wolff were conspiring against Donald Trump to lose the election.

Trump went on to lie that “I had nothing to do with this guy”. Again, we know for a fact that he did, in fact, have quite a lot to do with “this guy”. He also wrongly insisted that while Epstein was alive, nobody cared about him, and it’s only being discussed now to hurt him, specifically.

It’s worth underlining that there are a huge number of extremely disturbing emails from prominent figures referencing things like “torture videos”, referencing the abuse of underage girls, and generally being up to their eyeballs in Epstein’s web of sin. It boggles the mind that these people aren’t going to be investigated and prosecuted for this.

For many, exposing these rich and powerful predators was something they campaigned on, a part of their vow to drain the swamp and expose the dark truth of child abuse by the rich. But hey, I guess Kash Patel’s FBI has better things to do now. Like ensuring his country singer girlfriend gets treated like a very special princess.