Piers Morgan gives Trump’s ring another kissie as Prime Minister Keir Starmer ‘trumpifies’ defense spending

Upon the inauguration of Donald Trump, the United Kingdom entered what’s colloquially known as “squeaky bum time.” The United States is the country’s most important ally, famed for the so-called “special relationship.” Well, one of the partners in that relationship now has a troubling dating history and things might not be looking good.

There are a lot of things working against the U.K. now that Trump’s back in the White House. The centrist Labour Party is in government as of summer 2024 and many of its ministers have long and colorful histories of insulting Trump, not to mention that many pillars of British foreign policy (like wholehearted support for Ukraine) are now opposed to the Trump administration’s plans.

Britain under Trump

All of this means it’s time for the United Kingdom to grit its teeth, kneel down, and engage in some thorough, lengthy, and deeply unpleasant brown-nosing. Starmer’s tactic is to treat Trump like his best bud and a great guy, hoping to flatter his way into his good graces while praying he won’t incur his wrath.

Now, in Starmer’s biggest lovebomb to Trump so far, he’s massively increasing Britain’s defense spending. But how to pay for such a boost? Closing tax loopholes perhaps? Putting a fraction of a percent higher tax on domestic billionaires? Tightening inheritance so wealthy families can’t horde wealth forever? Oh c’mon, this is 2025! You already know the horrible answer! He’s going to pay for more bombs by yanking food and medicine away from the poorest people on Earth!

And when there’s a bad decision happening, you can be sure Piers Morgan will be right there in a pleated skirt and crop top to enthusiastically cheerlead it:

I also credit @realDonaldTrump for putting pressure on the UK, and other European countries, to take defence more seriously. We shouldn’t always rely on America to be our police chief. Starmer’s big move today is a direct result of Trump’s entirely justified 🔥 about it.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 25, 2025

The real irony here is that the reason Starmer needs to boost defense spending in the first place is because the Trump administration is planning to abandon its NATO allies, apparently not particularly bothered about Putin’s army running rampant through the cities of Eastern Europe. And who knows, in the not-too-distant future, both London may well be dealing with drone strikes?

“Deplorable”

Starmer’s “stealing from the poor to wage war” policy stands in stark contrast to his immediate predecessor as Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn, who deemed the decision “deplorable”:

The government has announced it will pay for more weapons and bombs by cutting support for the world's poorest people.

A deplorable decision that will only create a more unstable and unequal world.

What is the government doing to bring about peace?

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) February 25, 2025

Corbyn later added: “Never any money for the poor. Always enough money for war.”:

What the government can’t afford:

❌Lifting children out of poverty
❌Disability benefits
❌Compensation for WASPI women
❌Winter fuel allowance

What the government can afford: an extra £13.4 billion on the military.

Never any money for the poor. Always enough money for war.

— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) February 26, 2025

To be fair, Starmer is in a tough position as a centrist politician trying his best to appease Donald Trump without cratering his domestic support. Like it or loath it, Brexit means much of the United Kingdom’s economic future is now in Trump’s hands, and on a whim, he could easily inflict severe economic punishment on the U.K. Even so, this level of groveling, appeasement, and attacking the poor in a desperate attempt to impress Trump isn’t going to look good in the history books.