In a perfect world, our elected representatives would be the very best society has to offer. You know, the opposite of Marjorie Taylor Greene.
Unfortunately, at least in the year of our lord 2024, our politicians are anything but. Ever since 2016, it seems that the only thing that the right prioritizes is support for Donald Trump, even if the chosen candidate delights in pushing forward the most absurd lies and having children masquerading as billionaires crash his increasingly more embarrassing rallies.
Minus Trump, no one fits the “disappointing elected official” bill more perfectly than Greene. The Georgia Representative is a proven conspiracy theorist who delights in spreading her off-kilter talking points and is basically the co-worker from hell, often picking fights with her colleagues, Republican and Democrat alike. Unfortunately for Marge, one such unwilling associate, Jasmine Crockett, has refused to turn the cheek over the childish jabs. The “bleached blond bad built butch body”-slinging Texas rep has Greene in her no-nonsense sights and she’s more than ready to see the controversial Georgian meet her maker.
Calling Greene “B6” ⏤ in reference to Crockett’s viral moment from early 2024 ⏤ Crockett clapped back at the “embarrassment” of a representative. With Greene spewing conspiracy theories as quickly as the rest of us breathe, it’s nearly impossible to know which one Crockett is referring to. Is she talking about how Democrats can control the weather? Or maybe she’s referring to lasers controlling the weather? Or is she perhaps parroting the “Biden Crime family” controlling the weather? It’s impossible to keep track. Oh, and then there’s that time Greene tried to turn her constituents green by spreading the many-times-over disproved “benefits” of raw milk. Yeah. “Raw Milk does a body good,” she said. “Make America Healthy Again,” she said. Excuse us while we continue to search for this psycho’s off button.
In July alone, nearly 200 people were hospitalized with “near constant” diarrhea after being infected with salmonella from unpasteurized milk. Per The New York Times, 40% of those infected were under the age of 5. Drinkers believe that the unboiled beverage is somehow healthier. Earlier this spring, federal agencies identified a strain of bird flu spreading through cow herds and warned that the disease carried through unpasteurized milk products. Despite the warning, raw milk consumption actually increased.
But even government-issued warnings and the illegality of selling raw milk in 20 states haven’t stopped wellness influencers or idiot congresspeople from endorsing the disease-laden product. Crockett used Greene’s public brain-rot moment as a further opportunity to champion her competitor, retired Brigadier General Shawn Harris, and remind voters that Greene roaming the halls of the U.S. Capitol is a privilege that should be revoked given her ongoing ineptitude.
Greene is up for reelection this year, and despite barely accomplishing anything while in office, she’s doubling down on the constant stream of B.S. that has kept her in the public eye. With the 2024 presidential election inching ever closer, it’s encouraging to see a level-headed competitor trying to oust the Wicked Witch of the East. One can only hope MTG loses the upcoming Georgia election and slides back into the bog from whence she came, and you know what? She can keep blowing up cars and drinking all the raw milk she desires. It wouldn’t be the first time someone in MAGA land consumed something with the potential to give them the courtroom poos.