Throughout Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, JD Vance has either sounded like a robot, or weighed in with an incredibly offensive statement… or both (and that’s being generous to robots). After Vance’s claim that Haitian immigrants in Ohio are eating pets, Jimmy Kimmel is calling him out (pun intended).
After explaining that Vance has claimed that people phoned him to complain about this (nonexistent) pet-eating problem, Kimmel shared Vance’s phone number onscreen. He said, “This, by the way, is the direct line to his office. (202) 224-3353.”
He continued, “Whatever you do – do not call that number, to tell JD Vance that rainbow sprinkles at Baskin Robbins turned your kids gay, okay. Please, do not distract the Senator with this kind of silliness.”
Side note: what do we think Vance would order at Baskin-Robbins? “Whatever makes sense?” (Mint chocolate chip is the best flavor, but that’s a debate for another time.)
What would you say if you phoned Vance? Would you ask why he can’t be a regular human being and speak to people compassionately? Ask why he used the offensive term “childless cat ladies” and doesn’t understand the necessity of IVF? Why he’s even running for VP at all and hitching his political wagon to Trump? In a 2021 interview on YouTube, Vance said he would “be a totally terrible political candidate,” and that’s definitely true.
What about his trying to turn the tables and say Tim Waltz and Kamala Harris are “weird?” Even if you don’t actually get through to him on the line, you can at least take comfort in the fact that a new FiveThirtyEight poll says more Americans have an unfavorable opinion of Vance than favorable. He might act like that’s no big deal and shrug off any criticism in interviews, but it’s got to be bothering him.
There are a million things that Vance needs to be called out on, but if you took Kimmel’s advice and told Vance something was completely untrue, he would likely believe it. Vance would argue he’s just doing what he’s supposed to: making sure Trump gets re-elected. Or attempting to, because as the election gets closer, it seems more and more likely that decent Americans will get the outcome they want.
As the VP candidate told NBC News, Trump “obviously sets the tone and sets the policy, and I just try to help.” Or, as he said on the Fox News Show Sunday Morning Futures, “The media is going to attack the people, I think, who can most effectively bring President Trump’s message to a broader swath of the electorate.” That’s a terrifying thought. So, common sense has gone out the window, and Vance will keep listening to Trump — unless people do the right thing in November.
Kimmel’s monologue is a brutal reminder of the bogus claims Trump and Vance continue to make, and the real issues that are at stake that both of them are ignoring… or vowing to make even worse, if Project 2025 is any indication. But for now, before it’s time to vote, it’s a good idea to leave a message on Vance’s answering machine.