‘Recycled old insanity’: Donald Trump plotting a pricey stunt – why is he sabotaging his own federal spending cut agenda?

Most of President Trump’s ideas range from nonsensical to straight-up impossible, and his latest plan to reopen Alcatraz is no exception — not that it’s stopped him from shouting it from the rooftops.

Standing beside NFL commissioner Roger Goodell — who was at the White House to announce that the 2027 NFL Draft will be hosted in Washington, D.C. — Trump hijacked the sports moment to pitch his prison fantasy. He proposed reopening Alcatraz to house America’s most violent criminals, taking a detour to brag that nobody has ever escaped the infamous island. “One guy almost did,” Trump added, “but it ended in a lot of shark bites.” Apparently, this museum-turned-tourist site is, in Trump’s words, “just sitting there rotting.”

Spoiler: Alcatraz is not rotting. It’s a thriving tourist destination managed by the National Park Service. When asked for comment, park officials responded with the bureaucratic equivalent of a shrug. Over on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart joked that Trump just couldn’t resist the double thrill of closing a museum and opening a prison.

As for the actual feasibility of Trump’s idea? There isn’t any. Michael Esslinger, a historian who has written five books on Alcatraz, says the proposal is pure optics. The prison was shut down in the early ’60s partly because it was absurdly expensive — NBC reported it would’ve cost $4 million then to fix up, and even the basics like fresh water had to be delivered by boat each week. In today’s dollars, it’d be like filling the Bay with bottled Fiji water.

Still, some Trump officials are backing it. Secretary J. Elizabeth Peace issued a cryptic “the president’s statement speaks for itself,” which is usually what people say when they don’t want to be quoted saying, what on earth is this man talking about? Meanwhile, the director of the Federal Bureau of Prisons went full buy-in, promising to restore this “powerful symbol of law, order, and justice.” 

Nancy Pelosi dismissed the proposal on X, saying she doesn’t consider it a serious policy position. Fair — this isn’t even the first time the Trump camp has floated turning the now iconic tourist site into a detention center. Remember the plan to make Alcatraz a show-prison for immigrants, Guantanamo-style? Turns out the joke never dies — it just gets a renovation budget.

Alcatraz closed as a federal penitentiary more than sixty years ago. It is now a very popular national park and major tourist attraction. The President’s proposal is not a serious one. https://t.co/ALKXZLWlzO

— Nancy Pelosi (@SpeakerPelosi) May 5, 2025

Now this is a great idea. Maybe we should also reopen Alcatraz?!?! https://t.co/70dUlZVHvA

— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) January 30, 2025

And beyond the absurdity, there’s the irony: airports and prisons are both currently suffering from staffing shortages and underfunding. Yet somehow, the administration that came in vowing to slash federal spending has the cash to throw at a haunted island cosplay? Even Stewart shouted on The Daily Show, “Where’s DOGE?” — which, in this context, might be the most rational question.

While policies with real-world impact sink beneath the noise, Trump’s headline-grabbing proposals keep rolling in — from this, to the proposed 100% tariff on Hollywood movies shot overseas.

At this point, the only thing left on the board is him announcing plans to make Jurassic Park real. Honestly, we’re just one press conference away from Trump telling Americans “Life finds a way.”