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‘That belongs in a museum’: But seriously, what the heck is Donald Trump doing with the Ark of the Covenant?

The ancient relic is on display at Mar-a-Lago, and no, we're not talking about Trump.

Donald Trump and the Ark of the Covenant.
Photo by Allison Robbert-Pool/Getty Images

Donald Trump’s election win took many of us by surprise. After all, it just doesn’t make any sense. But what if I told you there is strong evidence to suggest that Trump has access to occult and mystical artifacts that perhaps gave him some unearthly powers?

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I’m kidding, of course, or am I? A picture posted to X shows a replica of the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders of the Lost Ark being displayed in the convicted felon’s Mar-a-Lago estate. Kind of odd, but hey, the first Indiana Jones film is great, so I suppose it’s not a massive stretch of the imagination to assume that Trump would be a fan. Just because he’s a terrible person doesn’t mean he can’t have good taste in movies.

It’s sort of ironic that Trump should be such a big fan of the Indiana Jones franchise though – does he not realize that the Nazi’s are the bad guys in those films? Let’s not kid ourselves, he’s definitely more of an Arnold Ernst Toht character than an Indiana Jones.

One comment joked about the box being the real deal.

Another comment suggested he just wanted the box because it was shiny – like a big dumb magpie. I wouldn’t be surprised, considering Trump’s brain is probably about the same size as a bird’s brain.

A third implied that the Ark has given Trump supernatural abilities, which might explain how he won the election.

All these replies may be talking sense, personally, I’m inclined to believe this is the real Ark of the Covenant. There’s just something about this image that feels so cursed. I bet Donald even had a little peek inside as well, which would explain why his face always looks a bit melty. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m almost certain someone has opened it, as I can clearly see one of those horrifying spirits looming right next to the box. Oh, wait, that’s Laura Loomer – which is arguably even more horrifying.

Perhaps this was the real reason Trump’s estate was raided back in 2022, and it’s all coming together now. Obviously Biden wanted to get his hands on Trump’s ark before he could use it to win this election.

Alright, jokes aside, do we have a better explanation for the presence of the replica? Some jumped in to defend Trump, claiming it’s because he’s a self-proclaimed Christian.

I’m not buying it though, as most Christians would just settle for a copy of the bible or something. Having the Ark of the Covenant on display in your home is a bit extra. In reality, it probably really is just a case of Trump being a fan of the movie. I can’t exactly explain why Laura Loomer is there, though. She’s a cryptid, sort of like Slenderman – she just pops up in photos, standing there, menacingly.

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