Just in case your 2023 bingo card didn’t include seeing conservative Republicans going full eleganza in head-to-toe drag, well then, you’re welcome.
With the help of AI-generated art, one RuPaul’s Drag Race fan account, @rupublicans, has compiled a list of notoriously anti-LGBTQ conservatives and dressed them up on the most “Kitty-Girl” drag you could ever dream of. The results are truly fabulous. From Ted Cruz, Rudy Giuliani, and Matt Gaetz to Justice Clarence Thomas, Mitch McConnell, and Mike Pence — Mamma Ru would be proud (and Marjorie Taylor Greene would probably have a pulmonary embolism if she saw it).
Now, let’s shantay into this fabulous spectacle. Without further ado, we introduce the opener of tonight’s act, Mitch McConnell, or should we say Anita Filibust-Her McConnell.
House of Cards alum Michael Kelly had just one word for McConnell’s drag transformation and no, it wasn’t “yasss.” The 53-year-old actor replied to McConnell’s pink Victorian realness on Twitter, saying, “Genius.”
McConnell is just the tip of the iceberg, though. Please make way for Mike Pence, or as we like to call her, Mother Pence. (Legs for days, henny). When he does testify in Trump’s Jan. 6 investigation, can we all vote for Mother Pence to make an appearance instead of uppity Mike? Thank you.
Despite Marjorie Taylor Greene already duking it out for the title of Cruella de Vil, we really have to give credit where credit is due — fur coat or not, Ted Cruz’s strong chin leaves him the winner. Hi sweeties, say hello to Cruzella Deville.
Now, we know what you’re thinking. Lindsey Graham already has her drag name. (Lady G, anyone?). But Lady G is now making her drag debut as the one and only Lady Graham Cracker. Per the caption on her photo, she loves “riding in on her high horse always asking for money, honey,” which is the closest Graham has ever come to facts.
There are a lot of winners here, but something about Rudy Giuliani’s transformation just really serves the house down boots. Just look at that filler. Gorgeous, darling.
She’s your favorite auntie, your go-to grandma, your strawberry blonde bestie. She is… Rudy Garland.
A lot of these gorgeous candidates have lips as loose as their — well, you know — but Miss Information, aka Steve Bannon, just really knows how to flaunt her lies as effortlessly as that sparkly gold cape. Look us in the eyes and tell us you don’t get Ursula vibes. We dare you.
The list wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t include Justice Clarance Thomas, the newly alleged corrupt justice of the Supreme Court. Her austere pose fits right in with the banana-yellow yacht behind her, upon which she graciously rides off into the sunset with her bestie Harlon Crow. We present to thee: Supreme Court’s Empress of Embarrassment, Claretta Corrupta.
Look — amid all the fun and games — these aforementioned drag queens have dedicated their time to attacking the rights LGBTQ+ members have worked so hard to achieve. Despite the overwhelming progress made in the last 10 years alone, America is not the land of the free for every LGBTQ person.
Drag is currently under attack, and with it, freedom of expression. Anti-drag bills are sweeping the nation, with states like Tennessee and soon-to-be Flordia locking in its bigoted legitimation. Anti-trans legislation is also being cooked into these legislations and Republicans like the ones listed above have taken to their platforms to celebrate and promote it.
For decades, drag queens have been on the front lines of justice, dating as far back as the Stonewall riots in 1969. Bigoted legislation or not, they will continue calling out hate as they see it. That’s part of what makes them so fabulous.