Donald Trump ordered a military strike on Venezuela early Saturday morning, which resulted in the capture of President Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores. The couple was seized overnight from their home on a military base, and is currently being towed to New York to face indictment.
Strap in, folks, because Donald Trump just speedran foreign policy straight into war crime territory faster than MAGA crusaders can type “president of peace” on X.
In the early hours of Saturday morning, while most Americans were still sleeping off their New Year’s hangovers (yes, only two days into 2026 and the Cheeto-in-chief has already kickstarted an illegal war with another country), the Trump administration decided to casually invade a sovereign nation, make a blazing mess of its capital by bombing more than a dozen locations, and snatch its president from his bedroom like a like a bounty hunter with… well, the most powerful military on the planet at its beck and call and zero impulse control.
The attack, being dubbed “Operation Absolute Resolve,” which sounds less like a military mission and more like a CrossFit workout, was carried out after months of political tension and the occasional skirmish in the Caribbean between the United States and Venezuela. The military deployed 150 aircraft from 20 different bases, per CBC News, providing cover while a team of Delta Force operators swooped in and grabbed Maduro before Venezuelan officials even had time to process that their country was under attack.
As for Trump, who sat in the safe confines of the operation room while American troops risked their lives to realize his imperialistic fantasies, he announced the whole escapade on Truth Social at 4:30, as is custom nowadays at the White House. He then held a press conference at Mar-a-Lago, naturally, where he cheerfully declared the U.S. would ‘run Venezuela until a safe transition’ can occur. Oh, and America will be ‘very strongly involved’ in the country’s oil industry going forward. What a stunning coincidence, given Venezuela sits on the world’s largest oil reserves.
Attorney General Pam Bondi immediately popped up with a statement of her own, saying that the Maduros will face charges including conspiracy to commit “narco-terrorism.”
The international community is thrilled, as you might expect. Russia condemned the act, which is very rich coming from them, and China blasted the attack, per Bloomberg, and dubbed it “hegemonic acts” that “violate international law and Venezuela’s sovereignty, and threaten peace and security in Latin America and the Caribbean region.” You know Xi Jinping is somewhere laughing and giving his generals the green light to dust off those Taiwan invasion plans.
Experts say this marks Washington’s most direct intervention in Latin America since the 1989 invasion of Panama. But remember, folks: Trump is the “president of peace.” Just ask all those people who woke up to the sound of explosions rocking Caracas this morning.
Published: Jan 3, 2026 03:01 pm