The entire world is nervously watching developments in the Middle East. Donald Trump‘s pointless, illegal, and murderous war is destabilizing the region, sending oil prices through the roof around the world, and potentially opening the door to chaos that’ll linger long after the 79-year-old president is in the ground.
Each day brings worse news, and world leaders are holding their breath in the hopes this conflict doesn’t boil over into a wider war, with the UN even preparing contingency plans for the use of nuclear weapons.
Oh well, at least Trump himself is keeping his eyes firmly on the situation. After all, he’s the commander-in-chief, and this is his war… oh… oh no he’s still hyper-focused on his ridiculous ballroom.
Yup, even as Trump sets the world on fire, at the top of the presidential to-do list is getting a gilded White House ballroom built. Stung by the injunction on construction and the requirement to seek Congressional approval, Trump instead approached his yes-men on the National Capital Planning Commission. Surprise, surprise, they approved it:
“I would like to thank the hardworking Commissioners and Staff of the National Capital Planning Commission, who just voted overwhelmingly, 8-1, to approve the magnificent White House Ballroom now rising on this Hallowed Ground. I am pleased to announce that even Board Member Senator Rand Paul, known as an extraordinarily difficult vote, voted a strong YES.”
It’s worth underlining that the National Capital Planning Commission’s approval doesn’t mean the ballroom can be built. Given that three of its members were directly appointed by Trump himself, with others representing various departments of the Trump administration, they’d probably put in a yes vote for Trump replacing the White House with a gigantic golden replica of his own head.
“Every President has dreamt about having a Ballroom”
Trump went on to ramble on about how great his ballroom will be. Once again, I can only underline that there currently is a war on and serious discussions are taking place about the use of nuclear weapons. But here’s a peek at what’s on the presidential brain right now:
“For more than 150 years, every President has dreamt about having a Ballroom at the White House to accommodate people for Grand Parties, State Visits, and even, in the Modern Day, Inaugurations. I am honored to be the first President to finally get this much-needed project, which is on time and under budget, underway. When completed, it will be the Greatest and Most Beautiful Ballroom of its kind anywhere in the World, and a fabulous complement to our Beautiful and Storied White House! President DONALD J. TRUMP”
Trump is clearly at his happiest when he’s engaged in property development and interior design. Just look at the way his face lights up when he gets to talk about the opulent marble floors of his would-be ballroom. Conversely, he looks miserable as heck when talking about the war or the economy.
Frankly, he should be praying someone will 25th Amendment him out of office. Does he really want to spend his remaining years doing a job that brings him no joy, surrounded by the worst human beings on Earth? Just retire! I’m sure you can build the most ridiculous ballroom ever in Mar-a-Lago between rounds of golf!
Published: Apr 3, 2026 10:04 am