Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been causing a ruckus in the 2024 presidential race, but for reasons that would make his ancestors roll in their graves.
While his campaign (before he dropped out) had largely languished in the shadows, obscured by the seismic revelations engulfing former president Donald Trump and the stratospheric ascent of now-nominee Kamala Harris, RFK Jr. has nonetheless managed to cling to the headlines by pledging his allegiance to the convicted felon. As anyone with a pulse could have predicted, this stunt caused Kennedy’s once-promising poll ratings to plummet since Kamala Harris clinched the Democratic nomination.
But this five-alarm dumpster fire of a campaign is hardly surprising, given RFK Jr.’s track record of absurdity in recent years. He has undergone more identity crises than a teenager at a Justin Bieber concert, morphing from Guy Who Thinks Earthworms Are Controlling His Thoughts to the Bear Scare Buffoon, and then the Guy Who Teaches Life Lessons Through Insecticides. Now, he finds himself among the rogues’ gallery of Ratatouille villains, sharing a lifeboat with the likes of Elon Musk aboard Trump’s rapidly sinking ship of fools.
As if this wasn’t enough to make one question RFK Jr.’s sanity, he’s also under federal investigation for allegedly going full Moby Dick back in 1994. The Center for Biological Diversity Action Fund has called on authorities to investigate whether Kennedy played Dexter with a dead whale in Hyannis Point, Massachusetts, and then transported his macabre trophy to his New York lair. His daughter, Kick Kennedy, recounted in a 2012 interview how her father “ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head, and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.”
Between helping his BFF Donald claw his way back from the brink of political oblivion after a disastrous debate with Harris, cosplaying as a deranged whaler with deceased cetaceans, and spewing nonsenses like “chemicals in water are turning children transgender,” one can’t help but marvel at how Kennedy manages to juggle all these preposterous misadventures while still finding time to allegedly step out on his wife Cheryl Hines. New reports claim that the very married RFK Jr. had a “personal relationship” with New York Magazine‘s 31-year-old columnist, Olivia Nuzzi.
New York Magazine has since put Nuzzi in journalism jail after uncovering her alleged romantic entanglement with Kennedy, which she carried on while supposedly “objectively reporting” on the 2024 campaign.
“Had the magazine been aware of this relationship, she would not have continued to cover the presidential campaign. An internal review of her published work has found no inaccuracies nor evidence of bias. She is currently on leave from the magazine, and the magazine is conducting a more thorough third-party review. We regret this violation of our readers’ trust.”
– via The Hollywood Reporter
Nuzzi copped to the relationship with her source but claimed it never crossed the line into “50 Shades of Kennedy” territory. Reports suggest the sparks began to fly after she wrote a profile on Kennedy in November 2023, shortly after he rage-quit the Democratic Primary to embark on a Quixotic quest as an independent.
One can only imagine the strain this must put on his marriage to Hines, who is already “very uncomfortable” with his husband’s decision to back Trump. Ultimately, as the scion of a once-great political dynasty, RFK Jr. had the potential to be a voice of reason in a turbulent time. Instead, he has chosen to flush his legacy down the toilet. The only thing more tragic than RFK Jr.’s fall from grace is the fact that he seems to be enjoying every minute of it.