‘We’re gonna be employing a lot of artificial things’: Out-of-his-depth Trump insists robot workers mean ‘more jobs than we’ve ever had’

In a way, Donald Trump and his MAGA ilk are doing an excellent job convincing us that being ruled over by unknowable AIs wouldn’t be so bad.

I mean, sure, we’ll get inhumane and cold-hearted political choices wreaking untold misery on powerless and downtrodden humans whose bones are being ground to dust under the wheels of rapacious capitalism. But enough about the Trump administration, maybe the robots might do better?

Anyhows, Trump himself is here to talk up our bright future serving our unfeeling robot masters. In slurred and confused-sounding comments made yesterday, Trump shambled onto a topic he’s unfamiliar with and released a stream of confused blather:

Trump: "We're gonna need the help of robots and other forms of uhhhh, I guess you could say employment. We're gonna be employing a lot of artificial things." pic.twitter.com/V2XkZ5NsOl

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 22, 2025

“You could have robots. But you’d have to get somebody to start those robots… And you’re gonna have to improve the robots. But we’re going to have robotic uh, factories plus manpower. So we’re going to have enough!

We’re going to need the help of robots and other forms of… uh… I guess you could say employment. We’re going to be employing a lot of artificial things but the beauty is that we’re gonna have more jobs than we’ve ever had.”

Um, how exactly is that going to work Mr President? I may be just a humble journalist without your complex insight into robotic sciences, but it would seem to me that replacing 200 factory workers with robots would put… 200 factory workers out of a job. Sure, you might need someone to “start those robots”, but that could be done by one person flicking a switch in the morning.

You have been deemed *bzzt* “obsolete”

Let’s face it, major American manufacturers are champing at the bit to dispose of their pesky human workforces. Squishy and incompetent humans need food, water, bathroom breaks – not to mention their annoying habit of organizing themselves into unions and withholding labor to improve working conditions.

And, worst of all, they want to be paid each month! Can you imagine how much profits would skyrocket if they simply bought robots to slave away for hours each day without pay?

Trump’s insistence that “the beauty” of your job being taken by a robot will result in there being “more jobs than we’ve ever had” might be technically correct. There will indeed be “more jobs”. They just won’t be hiring humans to do them.

And, without wanting to get too dystopian sci-fi, we can’t help but wonder what our corporate rulers will do when they realize that the working class is now surplus to requirements. I mean, if our labor has no value, what’s the point in keeping us around?