Say what you like about Matt Gaetz — and we already have and are about to say more — but the former Florida congressman and almost attorney general doesn’t waste any time. That is to say he doesn’t waste any time solidifying his fall from power within a single weekend by going from resigning from Congress to joining Cameo all in the space of two days.
In case you missed the good news, Friday saw Gaetz both withdraw his nomination for Trump’s attorney general and also resign from Congress for mysterious reasons… Assuming, that is, if you’ve somehow missed the fact that he’s under investigation for human trafficking, drug use, and paying for sex with a 17-year-old (with new allegations dropping all the time).
Memorably, things got so bad that fellow Republican disgrace George Santos was the only one fighting in his corner. Well, it seems Santos, who’s an old pro at “bouncing back” from humiliating career implosions, gave Gaetz a little tip after his resignation, as it turns out the would-be AG has already followed Santos onto Cameo.
As X user @KFCBarstool put it, “I don’t care if you’re left, right, center, red, blue, black white straight gay or trans… Matt Gaetz going from Attorney General to cameo in 48 hours is hilarious & rock bottom.” To prove his point, a clip from one of Gaetz’s cameos came attached to the tweet, in which the predatory politician offers some well wishes to an apparent fan (who, let’s be honest, is probably a relative).
You have to give the ex-Lazytown resident something, he truly brings people together… in hatred of him.
Any volunteers?
Why would anyone even put that out there in the world?!?
If you’ve received a serious head injury recently and are interested in purchasing a personalized Gaetz video of your very own from Cameo, you should know that he charges a minimum of $500 for birthday or holiday messages and/or pep talks (yes, pep talks from Matt Gaetz — that’s like paying Trump for skincare tips) that last for a whopping 90 seconds on average. After a quick perusal of the site, I can tell you that for the same amount you could either get a Cameo from Draco Malfoy or the guy who played the janitor on Scrubs. Alternatively, a combination of Miranda Hart, Art the Clown, and Spike from Buffy, and you’d still have $40 left over.
“This is just such an exciting time to be an American,” Gaetz gushes in the above clip. “We’ve got the House, we’ve got the Senate, we’ve got Donald Trump in the presidency. We’re gonna actually fix the problems… I can assure you that, as we approach the holiday season, the best is yet to come.” It’s unclear what Gaetz means by that, but maybe he’s planning to do his December Cameo videos in a Santa outfit or something. Even so, if I’m paying for a minute-long message from a perverse and dark-hearted clown, I’m still going to stick with Art.