Cats often seem like they’re up to something, and that’s because many times they are. Like the pet who betrayed their owner by cozying up with the neighbors or the mouser who moonlights as a creepy tour guide. One cat parent discovered they might just have the world’s most sinister kitties in their home, however, when they stumbled upon the feline foursome in the middle of what can only be some arcane ritual.
In a hilarious, if slightly unnerving, TikTok video that’s going viral, concerned cat dad Dylan Eddy revealed that he “just walked into the kitchen to find my cats summoning the SUPERIOR cat.” Sure enough, the short snippet of footage depicts what looks to be a four-legged remake of The Craft, in which the quartet of quirky cats sit atop the kitchen table and keep their heads fixed upward in unison, as if in the midst of some whiskered witches’ spell.
TikTok didn’t know what to make of this kitty coven of chaos, except that they are instant icons who need to star in a Hocus Pocus spin-off stat. “They’re having an assembly with their master,” one joked, while another got some ’90s nostalgia vibes from the cats’ witchcraft: “Charmed the power of three.” Another unleashed the perfect pun: “They’re Pawsessed!”
Of course, as one pointed out, the more rational explanation for this devilish display is likely that they’re “all watching the huge spider on the lights”… But like another commenter said, “That’s what they want you to think.” Cats definitely have their private meetings away from nosy humans, as at least one eyewitness can attest to. “I once saw 6 cats sat in a circle talking to each other,” someone recalled. “When they saw me they all stopped. I think they were having some sort of community meeting.”
Maybe we shouldn’t be so surprised that these cats have a penchant for sorcery. Given that their kind have been watching witches do their thing for centuries, they are bound to have picked up a few things. The idea that cats — black cats, specifically — were witches’ familiars or servants of the devil is believed to have its roots in the Black Death of the 1600s, when countless black cats were slaughtered out of fear they were actually demons spreading the disease. Of course, we now know it was rats — that those black cats would’ve helpfully gobbled up. This is probably why cats often treat their human parents with disdain all these centuries later — when you’ve got nine lives, you also have long memories.
Well, we had a good run, humanity, but now that Cat-atha Harkness and her coven are summoning the all-powerful Superior Cat, it looks like it’s come to an end. As Winifred Sanderson might say, our wretched little lives have all been cursed, because of all the cats meowing, these are the worst.
Published: Sep 18, 2024 11:12 am