A Reddit user from Europe, known as Minigun_Mittens, recently shared a story on the r/traumatizeThemBack subreddit that showcased how he used his own father’s advice to hold him accountable. Since the community pushed for it, the post was later reshared on r/maliciouscompliance. In it, the Redditor detailed exactly how they handled an estranged father, described as “my abuser,” who tried to use child support as a tool for manipulation.
The original poster (OP) stated that the incident happened when they were 19 years old, fresh out of grammar school, and preparing to move abroad for university. Their parents had been divorced for a year, and OP had been receiving child support payments of about £75 a month. While it wasn’t a massive amount, “that’s what my parents agreed on during the divorce and it’s not like I had any expenses at that time.”
They stated, “I knew that the destination country was more expensive than my home country, and so I asked my abuser to discuss increasing the payments for the duration of my studies. He agreed.” However, not long after OP said, “My abuser messaged me one evening, accusing me of manipulating an old lady to tell the neighbour’s secrets and paint my abuser in a bad light.” The father then tried to use that as leverage.
Interestingly enough, OP had no conversations with any old ladies
“This is what actually happened,” they wrote. “My mum was walking our dogs and randomly met the neighbour’s mother. She asked her a few questions about the living situation between my abuser and the neighbour (his lover that he cheated on mum with for 6+ years) to check just how much my abuser was lying to us. I wasn’t there for this, did not ask my mum to do this and only learnt about this later when my mum told me what she found out.”
As per OP’s account, their father didn’t seem to want explanations, “according to my abuser, I was the master manipulator.” OP wrote that they then criticized the father, and told him that they found it difficult to trust him when he lied for years. OP wrote, “He got greatly offended and demanded an apology. I refused. His final ultimatum was that if I didn’t apologise within 24 hours, he would cancel the increased child support payments and I would need to get a lawyer to get him to pay. So, I did.”
OP obtained legal counsel, and the father, whom the user described as a “narcissistic, self-assured and self-proclaimed main character” who thrived on conflict, completely folded. In the meeting room, he became “the most docile creature” and agreed to the increased payments immediately. OP noted, “He probably knew that what we were asking was way less than what the court would’ve demanded.”
One thing a lot of the community was curious about was why OP was still getting child support. So in an edit, they added a clarification, “I’m from a central European country. Local law requires parents to pay alimony/child support until the child is 26 years old (if in education) or until they’re financially independent.”
Child support can be a difficult topic, as one TikToker found out when her husband cancelled his divorce to avoid it. Another TikToker took to the internet to share a surprise, that she was suddenly receiving payments after 18 years.
The story resonated with many, with User BlackBasementCats commenting, “Good for you. I wish you could have seen his face.” Another user, tmorse85, added, “Abusers are cowards, and it’s so satisfying when their cowardice is on display. Well done!”
Meanwhile, vespers191 offered a different perspective: “Theres a weird docility that comes over people when they are threatened with something that they do not understand but absolutely believe in. For a lot of these people, lawyers may as well be wizards casting incantations, because somehow, they can get things done with just the right words.”
OP responded to this with a reflection, writing, “I think my abuser simply didn’t expect that I would actually get a lawyer. He spent a good number of years whittling my confidence down so he probably didn’t think I’d have the guts for it.”
Per MN Counseling Therapy, in the book Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful, the author Nogales highlights that parental infidelity leaves children, regardless of their age, to deal with complex emotions like shame and confusion. Research showed that 75% of survey respondents reported feeling betrayed by the parent who cheated, which fundamentally breaks the unspoken promise of a loyal, cohesive family unit.
Nogales noted that when a parent engages in these behaviours, it can lead to long-term trust issues and a sense of damage that persists well into adulthood.
Published: Jun 19, 2026 09:55 am