We all overanalyze things from time to time, but many of us would also like to believe that, when the situation requires it, we’re perfectly capable of thinking on our feet.
Not all of us are quite so lucky, unfortunately, and one man’s inability to react with purpose is now a TikTok moment. It’s an unfortunate fate for someone who was just trying to answer a question, but our man’s rambling, disjointed, and most importantly hilariously heartless response to a street-side question is earning him plenty of fans.
Uploaded to the @uandsvlogs account, the video shows as several men are stopped on the street and asked the same question: “Your house is on fire, and you can only save two things. Your wife, your mother-in-law, your dog, or $20 million?” When faced with which ones he would choose, our main man is briefly stumped, before launching into a laughably confusing response that tosses the value of human life out the window.
Starting off strong by confirming that the $20 million belongs to him, rather than someone else, our interviewee quickly gets lost in the details. He questions everything from the origins of the $20 million to his choice of house before the interviewer gets him back on track, and gives him space to share his stony-hearted truth with the world.
This man has the choice to save two of four things from a burning building, and what does he choose to save? The $20 million is fair — that’s a lot of money — but when left with a decision between his wife, his MIL, and his dog, our guy chooses more money. He’s been squirreling away cash for months now, and despite the $20 million injection into his bank accounts, he’s not leaving $700 to burn — just his wife, his mother-in-law, and his dog.
Continuing on his trend of vastly overthinking the prompt, our man is still not finished. Contemplating how difficult it is to replace vital documents like birth certificates and passports, he adds these to his list — noting that, when your loved ones are out of the picture, you probably have the arm space for three items — while still ignoring the silent, fictional screams of his burning family.
He even makes a note that his wife could make the cut, but “it depends on the mood she’s in.” This is largely due to his assertion that, with $20 million in the bank, you can “have a wife in every jurisdiction.” At that point, why save the woman you’ve sworn your life to? Just save the cash and get another one.
The comment section isn’t pressed for a moment about our main man’s decision making process, though a few did get lost along the way, while he was debating whether a passport or birth certificate was more important. Quite a few people noted that “he’s got a point” in noting that he can easily lure in a new wife with his fresh millions, and few were upset over the heartless math he did in calculating the most vital elements of his life.
One person even one-upped him on the heartless front, noting the alternative of taking “the $20m and the life insurance from your wife dying.” Now that’s some twisted math.
To be fair, people aren’t typically given such a stingy selection when faced with a house fire, but our interviewee doesn’t deviate all that sharply from the responses of most people considering a personal disaster. A survey digging into what items homeowners would save first lists phones and computers as the top items, with sentimental items like photo albums coming up far below. It turns out most of us would prefer to save our pricer items than our beloved ones, so perhaps our TikTok interviewee wasn’t so far off after all.