‘I’ve never watched a golden retriever pack a suitcase before’: Green flag of a fiancé agonizes over which board games to take on bachelor party

Ask anyone what the idea of a wedding means to them, and you’ll probably get answers like “a celebration of love,” or “the beauty of commitment,” or “two worlds coming together as one.” All of those people are filthy liars, because what they’re actually thinking is how inconvenient weddings are.

Indeed, between the house of cards that is wedding logistics, the actual execution of the big day, and a wedding’s deft, unmatched ability to empty one’s bank account — do not, under any circumstances, ever tell a bakery that the cake you want is for a wedding — it’s the trickiest gauntlet one could ever face. Take Jake, for instance; this poor fellow is falling at one of the tamest hurdles possible, and yet it’s only strengthening his fiancée’s resolve to place that coveted husband crown on him.

As captured on the joint TikTok account that Jake shares with his soon-to-be-wife Kelsey (and their dog Lucy), poor Jake was faced with the unthinkable task of deciding which of his beloved board games to bring with him for his bachelor party. Risk eventually emerged as the chief non-negotiable, but every attempt to plunge back into the omission mindset was quelled by his overwhelming love for dice, cards, and trivia. It got to a point where myriad upsized suitcases got involved, and you can feel Kelsey’s heart upsize in turn with every passing moment.

And this wholesomeness goes beyond the behavior being downright adorable; a quick glance at their account page shows that both Jake and Kelsey are both major game nerds, and most of their content is centered around whatever game-related shenanigans the couple are indulging in at any given time. They even designed their own game, Weirdos Wanted, together.

To play Weirdos Wanted, players each take three pieces of paper — marked “Inventory,” “Appearance,” and “Experience” — and write down the most hilarious ideas they can think of for someone to have in each category. After folding them up and tossing them into the center, each player randomly selects one piece of paper from each category. This constitutes the player’s “résumé.”

Once the résumés are collected, one player, designated beforehand as the “Boss” and who doesn’t contribute to the résumé process, picks up a “mission” card with a task written on it, and then each player must explain why they’d be best for the job, naming all three pieces of their résumé in the process. Whoever gives the best argument is awarded “bucks” (aka points) by the Boss, and the cycle repeats, with a new player taking on the role of the Boss for the next round.

It just goes to show you that games bring people together, and no one exemplifies this quite as wholesomely or resolutely as Jake and Kelsey.