‘Men in women dominated field’: Woman picked the club, thinking it was just a fun first date. Then he scams her twice

As dating norms evolve, the once-standard expectation that men should pay for first dates is increasingly being challenged. That cultural gray area is exactly where one woman on TikTok says she found herself unexpectedly footing the bill—twice.

As for traditional who-pays-the-bill gender norms, surveys show a growing split, with many younger daters embracing bill-splitting as a sign of equality, while others still expect traditional gestures. A 2023 report from the Pew Research Center found that Americans remain divided on who should pay, with attitudes shifting alongside broader conversations about gender roles and financial independence.

“Sugar mommy” trial run

In a now-viral video reshared by @thatindicmonk (Based Monk) on X, a woman recounted what she described as a bizarre and frustrating first date experience that left her feeling more like a “trial version” of a sugar mommy than an equal partner.

According to her story, the date began with a simple choice: dinner or a night out. She said she initially suggested a restaurant so they could talk more easily, but her date pushed for a club instead, promising a more energetic, fun atmosphere. She agreed.

Once they arrived, the first red flag appeared. There was an entry fee, and the man immediately asked how they would handle the payment. She agreed to split it, describing her mindset as relaxed and open to modern dating norms.

Inside, the evening seemed to go smoothly at first. They ordered food and drinks, enjoyed the music, and spent time dancing. But when the bill came, she said her date shifted gears.

She covered the whole bill

Once the bill arrived, the woman’s date asked her to pay the total upfront, suggesting they could split it afterward. She agreed without much concern, saying she maintained a calm, easygoing attitude, leaning into what she described as a “modern feminist equality” approach to dating. But the second surprise came during the cab ride home.

According to her account, the man began praising independent women who “take charge” and pay their own way, framing it as something he found attractive. He described himself as someone who liked balancing that independence with a softer, more “cute” persona in relationships.

Then, in a move she didn’t see coming, he suggested it would be more “convenient” if she simply covered the entire cab fare as well, rather than splitting it. She agreed again.

She wound up blocked

Then, after the date, instead of a follow-up message or any indication of interest, she said the man sent a brief message saying she was “a lot of fun” and then blocked her, leaving her without reimbursement for any of the shared expenses. Comments on the woman’s story noted, “Man wasn’t dating, he was running a payment gateway.”

And also, “Took her to a club on a first date, made her pay twice, and called it a date. That’s not splitting the bill — that’s finding a creative way to have a free night out,” noting her date clearly had a plan.