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TikTok urinal cake bite
Screengrabs via @applecomedy / TikTok

‘Parenthood is one trauma after another’: Dad starts rethinking his life choices after his son takes a bite out of the worst thing possible

To be fair, we should start naming things better.

In most scenarios, it’s wise to allow your children to figure out the world around them by making mistakes. Little Timmy thinks he’s being all clever and sneaky when he goes to touch the pot that you told him not to touch? Well, he may not listen to you, but he will listen to the burn he receives when he does touch the pot. Treat the burn at the behest of his humility and ask him if he’s going to take your advice from now on, see what the answer is.

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But there are some parts of the world that you just absolutely, positively never need to figure out, like how a strange little object whose sole function is to get peed all over, tastes like.

But the young child of TikTok‘s @applecomedy is nothing if not adventurous, and so when the opportunity came to take a large chomp out of a urinal cake, he pounced on that with all the gumption of… well, a young child.

The look on Willy’s face above says it all; exhaustion, despair, disbelief, parental liminality. His son, you see, was eager to show Willy his very pungent, very sterile discovery, upon which Willy immediately got the urinal cake out of his son’s mouth, booked it back home, and checked to see if urinal cakes were poisonous to eat.

That information wasn’t available, presumably because Willy’s son was patient zero on this particular set of data (as far as we know). Answers emerged nevertheless, however, as Willy’s son got diarrhea soon after this little venture. Things only escalated when Willy’s other son decided to pee all over the carpet, which was of course unprompted by a diet of urinal cakes, but no less of a headache for Willy.

Willy declared this urinal cake mishap as the most disturbing thing any of his kids have ever done, which, admittedly, doesn’t even scratch the surface of a child’s potential for disturbing us adults. Willy’s son, for instance, has likely never asked Willy to also say good night to his dead grandmother while tucking him in, or about how his grandpa wanted him to let Willy know that he’s doing just fine, or one of thousands of other reports of children being able to see ghosts, which The Everymom suggests is a skill that most every child possesses.

Of course, ghosts are only scary to us adults because they go against the reality that’s been shoved down our throats our whole lives. The prospect of one’s child eating a urinal cake, however, evokes a much different response; less “This doesn’t make any sense” and more “This is going to take up a lot of my time.”

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Author
Image of Charlotte Simmons
Charlotte Simmons
Charlotte is a freelance writer for We Got This Covered, a graduate of St. Thomas University's English program, a fountain of film opinions, and probably the single biggest fan of Peter Jackson's 'King Kong.' She has written professionally since 2018, and will tackle an idiosyncratic TikTok story with just as much gumption as she does a film review.