‘That man is a future 911 call’: Woman gets trapped in worst date ever with man who wants her never to leave the house, but still make the money

What’s worse than a bad date? You know, the kind of date where it’s obvious from the off that you and the other person are just incompatible, but now you’re stuck spending an evening with them. How about an amazing date, where it looks like you’ve somehow managed to find someone you’re on the same page with, but then it takes a sudden turn into car crash territory?

Sadly, that’s exactly what happened to TiKTok user Alexus. Things were going well — their dinner date had gone smoothly so far, they’d eaten their meal and dessert without any conversational hitches, and were now just waiting to pay — when their discussion turned to bigger topics. Alexus innocently asked her date, Anthony, what kind of relationship he was looking for. When he replied that he was looking for something serious, things naturally turned to talk about marriage and kids. And here’s where Anthony decided to drop a red flag so big they could see it from the moon.

Anthony wants his lucky future wife to be a stay-at-home mom to his kids. OK, so far, so 1950s, but it’s not that uncommon a viewpoint for a guy to have even these days. The real kicker, though? Anthony doesn’t even want his wife leaving the house. Like, ever. Not to meet friends or go out for coffee, literally nothing. And yet — and yet — he still wants her to be financially providing for him and their kids. How can she bring home the bacon if she’s not allowed to go out and get it, Anthony? Have you thought about that?!

When Alexus quizzes him on the logistics of that, we get another window into Anthony’s warped mind. “The government steals everybody’s taxes,” he mumbles nonsensically. “Find a way to take your money back from the government. If you can’t do that then you deserve to live on the streets.”

Based on his highly specific checklist, it sounds like Anthony’s ideal woman would be an agoraphobic homemaker who moonlights as a spy or a bank robber — which is a very unique kink, you have to give him that. Unfortunately for Anthony, but thankfully for her, he’s definitely not going to find that in Alexus, who revealed some much-needed context for her date footage in a follow-up. Basically, reader, the second he said this she ran like the wind and got the heck out of there.

Alexus explained that she had matched with Anthony on Hinge, and they had spoken for a couple of weeks before their date. He’d been perfectly nice and normal through their DMs and during the date itself, before he decided to drop the mother of red flags on the table before the end of the evening. Alexus was immediately freaked out and once she paid for her half of the dinner (at his insistence, obviously), she fled to her car and blocked him, hopefully never to see him again.

TikTok is stunned at the temerity of this stone age stallion. “The celibacy is VOLUNTARY,” one quipped, while another noted that this seems less like a date and more like a “hostage negotiation.” Someone else thought this was the ultimate rebuttal to the endless Man vs. Bear debate: “Let’s go live with the bears already!” But what has radicalized Anthony so? Clearly, he’s a big Kansas City Chiefs fan. “Listening to too much Harrison Butker,” another comment reads.

Although, honestly, as Alexus never shows us his face in this video, who’s to say he isn’t Harrison Butker? Maybe there are Harrison Butker clones (Harrison Butklones?) infiltrating the U.S. in some kind of Secret Invasion/Invasion of the Body Snatchers-like attempt to take over the world with misogyny? Are the cicadas infesting the country the Butklones in their pupal form?

Whatever the fate of humanity, let’s just be glad Alexus found out what Anthony was like so soon, even if she did have to experience this horrendous date in the process. Although, thanks to her sharing it with the rest of us, we know how she feels. As one commenter joked, “And now its the worst date I’VE ever been on.”