It both is and isn’t shocking the way some men out there are so shameless in their unrepentant creepiness — be it the man who was caught brazenly taking photos of women’s bodies on the beach or that guy who attended a yoga class in Texas just to be a perv (don’t worry, he got his comeuppance).
In the latest installment of America’s Worst Men, we have the dude who ruined a woman’s tranquil coffee shop reading session for one of the most atrocious attempts at flirting you’ll ever hear. TikTok user @bibivvitch aka Hailey was sitting outside a Starbucks, using her camera to fix her lipstick, when the coffee shop creep ham-fistedly thrust open the door of conversation. Thankfully, Hailey ultimately found a way to slam that metaphorical door right back in his face. Not that he was pleased about it.
Starbucks Stranger plows through all the usual red flags at top speed — he moves on from complimenting Hailey’s looks, to telling her “You don’t need all that makeup,” to complaining about his ex in just a few exchanges. His pièce de résistance, though? The unique touch that proves him a cut above the other creeps? He offers her a foot rub!
Yeesh, red flag doesn’t even begin to cover that one. It’s more like a red planet. In the solar system of slimeballs that exist out there, this man is the Mars.
So how did Hailey shut down the shameless miscreant? She fell back on that tried-and-tested method: telling him she’s married. When the guy kept pushing his revolting foot rub offer (who is he, Quentin Tarantino?), Hailey admitted she has a husband and three kids. The Starbucks bozo’s tone immediately changed upon learning this, even blaming Hailey for leading him on. “You’re married? Why didn’t you say that earlier?” he demanded. “Using me for compliments and sh*t…”
The women of TikTok are finding this whole incident both repulsive and sadly relatable. Although at least it sounds like most haven’t had someone ask to touch their feet while they were getting a coffee. “Who asks a stranger if they like foot rubs??!!” reads one comment, speaking for all of us. And, once again, we have another reason to choose the bear. “The bear would’ve asked what book you’re reading,” said one ursine supporter.
Many commenters noted how the guy would’ve been just as irritated if Hailey had mentioned her husband earlier. “And if you said “I’m married” he would have accused you of being presumptuous and that he just wanted to sit for a minute,” someone pointed out, accurately.
Others, though, aren’t entirely convinced by the spontaneity of this moment, which just happened to get recorded. “Is this real? Or satire? Because if it’s real I’m so sorry This is terrifying,” one asked. The problem is that, even if this is staged, it’s so true to life that it’s impossible to tell. As one comment bleakly surmised: “Real or not from this video, I can assure you from my experience that instances like that are very much real.”
If this is as it seems, however, then commiserations to the next woman to whom Tarantino Jr. offers a foot rub, as it sounds like this is — bizarrely — his usual spiel. Maybe he’s been cursed by a witch to walk the earth, carousing coffee shops until he finds a woman who accepts the offer, and then he’ll finally be free. In that case, he may need to work on his game or else he’ll be doing this for years to come. And nobody, and I mean nobody, wants that.