‘The bear the bear gimme the bear’: Midwife shares the shocking, ignorant, and selfish things husbands asked her after their wives gave birth

Growing a family is a monumental task. Struggles rear their heads at every turn, but no one with their head screwed on straight would ever argue that anyone works harder to make new life than mothers.

Except, perhaps, fathers. It seems the second half of family planning is often the most likely to step in it when the actual childbirth stage comes in, something a midwife scathingly confirmed in a mid-May TikTok video.

Being a father is hard — no one is arguing with that. But being a good partner doesn’t come with nearly so many challenging demands. All it really requires is support, some listening comprehension, and the baseline of love that allows all good relationships to last. These traits are never needed more than when your partner is enduring a grueling delivery, but it seems that is the time far too many fresh fathers fail.

TikToker Vivian, who goes by @kbsebspkehk on the platform, confirmed as much in a recent video, in which she walked viewers through the most criminally offensive responses she’s ever received from new dads. They include such sins as the classic “I’m tired” — oh, are you? Did you just push an entire human out of your body? The unforgivable “when can we have sex again,” and the painfully cliché “can they throw an extra stitch in for me?”

The utterly gag-worthy list of responses to the miracle of childbirth were met with broad derision from viewers, who leaned on the “man vs bear” discussion to demonstrate their disgust with the male population as a whole. Blessedly, a few mothers also came into share much more wholesome stories of just how supportive, kind, and dad-worthy their own partners were during and after birth.

That doesn’t change the issue Vivian’s video so succinctly highlights, which zeroes in on just how common it is to have an unsupportive partner in the delivery room. Dads, we get it — this isn’t easy for you either. But we’re going to need you to buck up a bit, gain some perspective, and realize your role in the childbirth process.

Which, in case you’re still not getting it, is to do literally everything the woman bringing life into the world requires, and accept any minor hardships that come with it. There is literally no chance that you’re enduring anything near what she is, so muster up some support and — for the sake of your relationship — keep your big mouth shut.