If you’ve never heard of the cat distribution system, then you’re really missing out on the wonder and majesty of becoming a cat owner.
Sure, some people go out seeking cats. Many people consciously decide that it’s time for a pet and choose cats as their most compatible new sidekick. They do research, find shelters or breeders, and carefully pick out which cat is going to be their new companion.
But a vast majority of cat owners became pet parents thanks to what the internet likes to call the cat distribution system. Essentially how it works is a cat wanders its way to your house or car, or across your path on an evening walk, and suddenly it’s yours to keep and take care of.
The cat distribution system essentially chooses its next victim and sends a cat their way in the most unignorable fashion.
But EC Beck on TikTok‘s confrontation with the cat distribution system was much more aggressive and far more forced than it’s supposed to be.
While they were waiting for the train in Chicago, a man holding a black and white cat shoved it into EC’s arms, gave them a non-consensual hug, and slowly back into the train, ominously thanking them for being a good person.
So now they’re stuck with a cat that they don’t want, cheated by the cat distribution system, and the cat smells like straight-up garbage.
So naturally, they took to TikTok to explain the story and ask for advice for when the cat distribution system malfunctions.
The comments were flooded with people inside and outside Chicago offering to take the cat from EC, many even said that they wished something similar would happen to them. One even made a mental note to make eye contact with pet owners on public transportation in hopes of being saddled with a new furry friend, a compliment, and a non-consensual hug.
Apparently, this particular method of acquiring a cat is a new update within the cat distribution system. One person said that their neighbor knocked on their door and offered them a cat, and another said someone did the same thing at a store they were shopping at. It looks like the distribution system must be acquiring some human representatives.
Fortunately, the City of Chicago, where EC lives, has a protocol on its website about what to do if you find (or are handed) a stray animal. However, they do recommend that stray adult cats be left where they are. However, Chicago Animal Care and Control offers walk-up appointments to scan lost pets for microchips to help reunite them with their owners. Stray and lost animals left with Chicago Animal Control without tags or chips will be marketed for redemption to the owner, adopted, and transferred to rescue.
EC updated their audience of concerned cat lovers that a good friend of theirs has taken in the cat and they will be able to get updates about him as he grows.
They did, however, have to redistribute the cat distribution system, especially because the said system has already allotted them three cats of their own.