‘You’re a cat pervert!’: Couple conjures wild claims to hide jealousy of their neighbor

Neighbors have made for entertaining enemies for decades, with pop culture full of folks who might share a fence but are also a thorn in each other’s sides — Dennis the Menace and Mr. Wilson, Homer Simpson and Ned Flanders… the list goes on. And now, thanks to an unlikely duo who’ve emerged on TikTok, another pair of neighbor nemeses have entered the arena.

Everyone’s had someone next door who’s accused them of some breach of neighborly etiquette, whether we’re actually guilty of it or not. That said, an accusation of being a “cat pervert” is hardly one that’s going to show up as an answer on Family Feud. And yet that’s the serious allegation that TikToker @_barstoolbigcat was faced with when his neighbor launched into an angry tirade from his front lawn.

Despite the TikToker standing outside their yard and clarifying that the gate is open, the neighbor on camera threatens to call the cops over claims the other guy is kidnapping his cat. When trying to explain he can’t get the cat to leave, the neighbor instructs the TikToker to tell the cat “Mercury, go home, don’t come in our yard anymore.” Although when he is informed that cats don’t in fact speak English, this argument disappears in a puff of logic.

Things escalate from there and before long, the neighbor says some words he can never take back: “You cat pervert!” When the TikToker keeps on stressing that they’ve done nothing to tempt Mercury the cat over to their yard, the neighbor chants “Cat pervert!” over and over as he disappears back into his house. After a taunt from the TikToker, though, the guy can’t resist some fresh accusations, arguing that the crime of “harboring a cat” is being committed and he’s going to inform the authorities.

Personally, I think we really need to hear from Mercury the cat themselves before we can really judge this situation, as it’s important to listen to both sides of the story. Like the TikTok’s caption sagely puts it, “There’s no coming back from being called a Cat Pervert. Once it’s said it’s written in stone.”