Airport security is such a pain. You have to be careful you haven’t packed anything sharp, remove your electronics as your bag is X-rayed, awkwardly walk through a scanner without your belt (and possibly without your shoes), and then hope your bag isn’t singled out for manual inspection. But hey, at least tight security means nobody can bring a weapon on the plane.
Well, perhaps think again if you’re flying from Los Angeles. When 30-year-old U.S. woman Liliana Goodson touched down in Sydney, Australia in April 2023 a customs officer casually asked her if she had any prohibited items on her. Goodson said no, the customs officer looked into her hand luggage, and (presumably with some surprise) said “What about the gun in your bag?”
The gun in question is straight out of a gangster’s wet dream: a gold-plated Colt 45-style pistol with a pearl inlay (estimated value of $3000) and ammunition. Goodson’s response: “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”
The cherry on top? The reason Goodson was in Australia was to attend “clown school.” Whatever she was planning to spend on her clown tuition she should save it, as she’s not going to end up in any situation more ridiculous than this. Goodson was arrested so fast her feet barely touched the floor and, as of today, has been sentenced to a year behind bars for illegally importing an unauthorized firearm and ammunition.
Goodson’s defense was that she’d brought the gun for protection, with an investigation into her search history revealing she’d queried “can I have a gun in my suitcase” and put a reminder note in her calendar: “put gun in suitcase.” In an attempt to explain her actions to Sydney police, Goodson reassured them she’d be scared of actually firing the gun and planned to merely wave it around to scare any would-be attackers. “If that didn’t do it I would probably just pistol whip!” she perkily added.
During sentencing, it was also noted that Goodson had been using psychedelic drugs, synthetic cannabis, and crystal meth. Well, that certainly helps bring this particular picture into sharper focus…
In the year Goodson has spent in custody she’s been working on her music, with her lawyer explaining she’s working on an album and has already produced a dozen songs. She’s also been volunteering at an art center. In mitigation, her lawyer Chris Davis (who I can guarantee is not being paid enough) told the court:
“That creative side is coming back out now … she’s capable of rehabilitation … and she wishes for me to convey to the court how sorry she is for what she’s done. It’s taken her a while to get to this point but she’s here and she is sorry she packed the gun and shipped off the ammunition to this country, and she deeply regrets the course of action that she took.”
At this point magistrate Susan Horan queried whether Goodson really was now as “drug-free” as she claimed, pointing out that she isn’t “following the proceedings terribly well.” To be fair, drug-free or not, it doesn’t sound like this defendant is the sharpest knife in the drawer when it comes to following court proceedings.
On sentencing her, Horan underlined that Australia has “a strong stance against firearms” and agreed with prosecutors that the gold-plated weapon would “terrify members of the community.” It was also noted that the ammunition Goodson had bought and arranged to be shipped to Australia was the wrong caliber for the gun. In some ways that’s a relief, but also once again underlines that this would-be clown school graduate isn’t going to be picking up a Nobel Prize anytime soon.
Published: Dec 9, 2024 08:24 am