American Horror Story: Coven Review: “Protect The Coven” (Season 3, Episode 11)

american horror story: coven

After last week’s boring, plodding mess of an episode, American Horror Story: Coven returned with some ultra-violence to spice up the final half of the season and make up for Stevie Nicks being Stevie Nicks. Believe it or not, the plot even moved towards something resembling a conclusion as well, but I can’t say it’s going anywhere good.

Unlike LaLaurie, whose trip to N’Orleans was chronicled in the opening and reveals where she found her murderous side, apparently all it took in those days was chopping one chicken’s head off before you had an insatiable hunger to murder slaves and such. Sure, it’s inconsequential, but it’s nice to see Bates chewing the scenery again after last week’s disappearance.

Nan’s funeral is surprisingly pretty packed, even though a good fraction of those in attendance are responsible for her death. LaLaurie is sewn back together and released to the coven so that she can continue being a maid, which I guess is slightly better than not having a head. Surprisingly, Misty remains buried and doesn’t make the “surprise” appearance that was expected after last week. So bravo to Ryan Murphy and company, because their small moment of restraint led to a big surprise.

LaLaurie actually takes up quite a bit of screen time this episode, silently disapproving of everything the coven does while still fulfilling her sick urges. After mutilating an injured worker, Spalding makes a surprise reappearance as a ghost, revealing that he knows of a way to kill Laveau with magic, leading to one of the funniest scenes of the season: Spalding presents the witch with a box of Benadryl wrapped in a doll’s crib. Come on, that’s pretty hilarious. It’s about time somebody other than LaLaurie took advantage of her age and disconnect with modern times.

Meanwhile, Fiona and Laveau continue to plot against Delphi Trust, setting up a meeting in the hopes of ending the feud for good. The Axeman (yeah, he’s still here) dreams of moving with Fiona to the country and living normal lives together, but Fiona’s got business to finish before she can just relax and have a mojito in the woods.

Much of that work revolves around figuring out who the next Supreme is and then killing her. Since everyone else is getting awesome new powers, Queenie gets some too, putting her in the running as well. By the way Madison keeps acting, chances are she’ll get the axe pretty soon too, but that’s just a guess. Either way, it’s clear that Nan was never in the race, so her death feels a bit wasted. However, that cuts off the storyline with the neighbors, so I can take the good with the bad.