New Girl Review: “Eggs” (Season 2, Episode 9)

There are certain markers of adulthood of which we are in complete control. For instance, graduating from college, getting your first “real job,” getting married, buying a house. These are milestones we are totally in control of and by which we can chart our growth and maturation. Other aspects of growing into adulthood are less under our control, like starting a family. New Girl is a show that is consistently obsessed with following its cast as they struggle to either achieve or put off the milestones of adulthood that they can control. However, in this episode, we see the reins wrested from the hands of our characters, leading to all manner of crisis and madness.

To an extent, every plot line in this episode works, or at least has one moment of inspired comedy to rescue it. The episode begins with a dinner party featuring Jess, Cece, Nick and Jess’s lesbian friend Sadie, the gynecologist, and her partner. While attempting to have a conversation loud and involving enough to drown out and distract from Schmidt’s Mars rover-based narration of his sexual acrobatics with his boss, Sadie lets slip that she is pregnant. Why, however, would she become pregnant now? Because it turns out that by 30 women can have lost up to 90% of their eggs. This sets off a chain reaction in Jess, an existential dilema and a rippling fear that takes hold of her like a holy terror.

Schmidt, however, is just excited to hear that there is a lesbian baby on the way, and he pauses his narrated  sex-scapades (“I found water!”) to give them his congratulations. Turns out that this hiatus isn’t exactly heartbreaking to his partner, however, as she is generally unimpressed with Schmidt’s sexual prowess, a confession that “shatters” Schmidt’s world and puts him on an existential crisis equal to Jess. He thought he had arrived at the pinnacle of sexual achievement, only to now be faced with his possible ineptitude.

So both Schmidt and Jess both make appointments to see Sadie, for very different reasons. Jess wants to get tested for fertility, and Schmidt – assuming that a lesbian gynecologist is the closest thing to a certified vagina expert that there can ever be – wants to get tips on his sexual technique. Jess brings along Cece to get tested as well, drawing courage from sharing her burden with someone else. Cece of course goes along with this, secure in her desire to not have children, and believing the whole scare to be baseless.

And so it is, for Jess. It turns out that Jess is still extremely fertile, and thus her plans for a future family are completely safe. Cece, on the other hand, is in the danger zone. It turns out that if she plans on having children, she needs to start trying ASAP. This comes as a shock to her, because while she didn’t want children now, that was a decision predicated on the idea that she would always have that option open to her. Now, however, that window is closing.

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