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New Girl Review: “Eggs” (Season 2, Episode 9)

There are certain markers of adulthood of which we are in complete control. For instance, graduating from college, getting your first "real job," getting married, buying a house. These are milestones we are totally in control of and by which we can chart our growth and maturation. Other aspects of growing into adulthood are less under our control, like starting a family. New Girl is a show that is consistently obsessed with following its cast as they struggle to either achieve or put off the milestones of adulthood that they can control. However, in this episode, we see the reins wrested from the hands of our characters, leading to all manner of crisis and madness.

Schmidt, meanwhile, visits Sadie to prove to him what he already knows – that he is a “vagi-nius.” This scene is perhaps the highlight of the entire episode, considering both Schmidt’s unending string of frankly baffling innuendo, as well as Sadie’s reaction shots. Turns out, according to Sadie, her pregnancy hormones aren’t as gay as she is. I did my best, but even typing furiously I was only able to capture a fraction of Schmidt’s pet names for his sexual tricks. Highlights: Losing Nemo; Spiking the Volleyball; Everyone Gets A Churro.

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His pride reasserted, Schmidt goes back to please his boss, only to find that their problem might be more than physical. After failing to excited her or himself even during her most crazy roleplay (French maid handyman and Studio 54 busboy) the truth comes out – at this point in their life, only sex with someone they love will really satisfy them. Thus, the terrifying realization – the effortlessness of the great sex with Cece was a byproduct of their genuine affection for one another. Luckily for him, Robby isn’t looking to have kids for ten years, meaning that suddenly Cece and her boyfriend aren’t operating with the same objective in mind.

I know what you all are thinking, though. Where are Nick and Winston? Well Winston is sleeping, because he’s on an adjusted schedule to accomodate his new gig as a late night/early morning radio host. Nick, however, eager to escape from the vagina talk, tags along, and bolstered by his friend’s achievements and his own shortcomings, decides to finish his long-stalled zombie novel. However, his own life lacks the right touch of adventure to really give the novel life, and thus he decides to follow in the steps of Hemingway and go to the zoo, drunk. This is of course not exactly what Hemingway did, but the trip does give him the impetus needed to finish the novel.

The stinger of the episode involves a dramatic reading by Winston of what he categorizes as the worst thing he has ever read. Nick is incapable of spelling the word “rhythm” any of the thirty-plus times that he finds it necessary to use, and his characters and dialogue seem as though they came from a deranged fever dream. It’s a thrilling little grace note to what had become a running gag, and Winston’s delivery seals the deal. Nick is a terrible writer, but he finally took a step toward achieving something in his otherwise listless life, and considering how we watched his friends struggle to regain some control of things they have no hope of really planning out, it’s great to see him stepping up.

This was another episode, like “Menzies,” that began with a pretty rote premise – my biological clock is ticking like this! – and then rescued it through some great character work and some insightful movements in our main cast. I find it hard to believe that people could still be uncertain about the quality of New Girl, but this would definitely be an episode to throw on if anyone in your life needs convincing.