Jersey Shore Review: “Merp Walk” (Season 6, Episode 5)

Even though Jersey Shore is finding its new legs as the show goes through growing pains, it seems that the gang is still capable of getting up to their old shenanigans. While partying it up at a club, a huge fight breaks out for some reason (is there ever a reason?), and the last thing we find out is that Roger pushes Jenni out of the way and hurts her ankle. Not too intense of a cliffhanger, but reality TV takes what reality TV can get.

Merp Walk opens with the group getting kicked out of the club, and we get to see Roger and Jenni duke it out in all of their drunken glory. Roger is given a million and a half excuses to get out of trouble, most of them from Jenni herself, but he insists that he knew he was hitting her. Since woman-beaters don’t make for exceptionally enjoyable television, it looks like bye-bye Roger for now.

The next morning, Jenni’s foot is still aching, so Snooki runs her to the hospital to get it checked out. Back at the house, Ron and Sam debate who was in the right when it comes to the fight. Ron backs Roger, saying Jenni should have stayed out of it, but Sam says it’s up to the women to help men calm down. But before they fight…they stop. What the heck just happened? Did the disastrous duo just grow up and act like real people? This is crazy, shouldn’t they be broken up and weeping right now?

At the hospital, Jenni gets a few x-rays and finds out her ankle is fractured, meaning she’ll be stuck up on crutches and left to stay in with Snooki for most nights. Surgery is a possibility, but the crutches and splint are a must. That’s two of the gang down, with only a few left standing. Worries that haunt Jenni include: not being able to wear high heels, no more drunk fights, no more t-shirt shop, and apparently no more life? It’s a fractured ankle, but for the Shore gang, that means life itself has ended. The rest of them insist that Jenni’s milking the injury, splitting the house in two as the roommates fight about whether or not Roger was in the right.

But forget the house divided, because it’s a Karma night! Everybody’s on board, including the pregnant one and the one who can’t walk. Vinny’s whole family shows up to the club, as does Chris and every other friend ever. As Jenni hobbles her way through the night, Mike has to deal with pushing away drunk women while trying to avoid the temptation to get messed up. Some guy comes up and starts taunting his sobriety, which leads to a huge brawl…no wait, Mike just walks away and heads back to the Shore House to calm down. Seriously, what is with the maturity?

The next morning, Deena heads to a bar and starts getting completely smashed as she searches for another meatball to join her in her antics. While she gets ready to be arrested (spoiler alert, by the way), Mike gets an Edible Arrangement from Paula, which leads him to officially take himself off the market. It’s a sweet notion, but we’ll wait before declaring it official. Back to the hot mess that is Deena, we find her broken down on the bar, but she quickly ventures out onto the boardwalk. Troubles brewing, no?

Deena makes her way to the shirt shop and steals some guy named Steve who works there to walk her to the liquor store. Instead, she heads back to the bar, which is where Ronnie and Sam catch up to her. Before they can stop her, she finds herself in the street, and as much as Steve tries to help, a few cops see her staggering her way through traffic and promptly arrest her. For their part, they’re pretty fair about the whole tiff.

Well that’s not much of an ending, especially since the preview for next week shows Deena clearly out of jail and apparently none the wiser for her experience. Much of the growth that Jersey Shore has experienced in the first few episodes is lost here, but at least fans can still have some fun reliving the classic capers the gang gets into. Be sure to check back next week to find out what happens next on Jersey Shore!