Jersey Shore is back with episode two and already, it looks like things are going to start going downhill. As we start off, we’re thrown right back into the fight from last week. Sam and Deena are going at it and eventually JWOWW gets involved, turning things physical. The guys try to break it up but things are getting pretty rough. As JWOWW says ‘it’s gonna be an interesting fucking summer.’
After a bit more fighting between Snooki and JWOWW, Ron decides it’s time for everyone to go upstairs. As Ron tells us that he likes that fact that Sam stands up for himself, the other three girls start shit talking Sam behind her back. Eventually everyone decides to call it a night, except Snooki and Deena. They drink a bit more and then set off for some drunken debauchery. Snooki tries to fit in a suitcase, the two girls fall out of a hammock, and a few more acts of pure stupidity, that only Snooki is capable of, occur.
The next morning, for no apparent reason, Sitch personally wakes everyone up, although his wake up doesn’t even compare to Pauly D’s from last season. He then tells us about his thoughts on last night’s fight. He tells us ‘if anyone can help these two crazy individuals, it’d be Sitch, and I tried, but uh it backfired.’
Pauly starts singing about wanting to go to the gym so the boys head out, with Sam. Meanwhile, the other three girls go for a cocktail and tanning. Later that afternoon, when they get home, Vin and Pauly have an entertaining conversation about whether Deena’s boobs are real or fake.
That night, they all decide to go out except Sam and Ron. While getting ready, Pauly gives us the season’s first ‘the cabs are here’, which is followed by an epic T-shirt time. Pure greatness. Everyone’s ready to go except Sitch, the crew waits for him and when he finally comes down, he literally takes an extensive and exhaustive look at himself in the mirror. After Sitch makes sure he’s looking fresh, they head to good old Karma.
While at the club, a creepy girl starts following Vinny around. As Pauly tells us ‘she’s just always there, she’s hounding.’ She keeps following them around and Vin tells us she is beyond the world stalker, he tells us ‘she’s a parasite and I’m the host.’ He keeps trying to dodge the grenade but she won’t let up. He’s scared, his life is in danger. Watching him try to avoid her is quite amusing.
Meanwhile, everyone else in the club is having fun. Sitch his showing off his abs, the girls are dancing and Snooki is getting belligerent and starts hiding in bushes, for no apparent reason. Eventually the girls head home and JWOWW gives Tom a call. She starts talking to him but Tom isn’t really paying attention. JWOWW gets mad and then Tom drops the news. He wishes her happy anniversary and hangs up. JWOWW is stunned, she realizes she forgot about their anniversary, she fucked up.
Back at the club, Vin finally manages to ditch the girl and he decides to go look around. He wants to find out who is DTF, and so he goes on a hog hunt. Somehow, Vin and Mike are able to get one girl to come back with them. There’s a problem though, there are two guys and only one girl. Despite what you may think, they don’t end up doing the unthinkable, instead Vin takes her into the guest room and locks the door, before Situation even gets a chance with her. Sitch is pretty puzzled, he’s stunned. They could have at least done rock, paper, scissors for her. Sitch tells us he needs to get himself situated. He begs Vin to open the door, telling him sharing is caring. Vin is having none of it though and Sitch gives up. In more words or less, Deena offers to sleep with Mike but Sitch tells her he’s alright, leaving Deena shocked.
The next morning Sam and Ron wake up early to go to church and shortly after, Pauly gives us the first ‘oh ya wake up ya’ chant. The crew, minus Sam and Ron, meet up outside and discuss the night and how Sam and Ron stole the car this morning without telling anyone where they were going. Sitch tells us that it was just plain disrespectful and they will be reprimanded once they get home. Reprimanded? Really Sitch? That’s quite a big word for you.
Anyways, they get on with their day and head to the gym, minus Snooki of course. When they get home, Deena tries to prepare dinner. epic-ly failing every step of the way. Sitch takes over though and come dinner time, they’ve prepared quite a feast, that looks amazing, as usual. The only people not there are Ron and Sam. Vin tells us this is the first time that the crew has ever been separated during a Sunday dinner. It’s a profound moment. When Sam and Ron finally do walk in, no one really says anything at first.
Pauly breaks the news and tells them they totally missed Sunday dinner. Sam says she can care less. Harsh. Ron and Sam go upstairs to their room and everyone else goes to chill on the roof. Ron says he misses being with the guys and he’s getting tired of this.
The next morning they head to work and obviously Mike doesn’t lift a finger. He even disappears for a bit to go get food. Later that afternoon, he has a heart to heart with Ron and tells him not to forget about them and that they’re still his boys. As night comes, the crew heads out to the boardwalk. While out, they’re all having a good time, playing games, going on rides etc. The only one not participating is Sam, she tells us she feels left out but she’s choosing not to participate so it’s hear fault really, can’t feel bad for her.
Sam tells Ron that it’s starting to feel like Miami and they have a talk, in which Sam starts to cry. Ron admits to fucking up in Miami. He says he’s not proud of what he did and Sam tells him that he lied to her face. Ron tells her that at least he came home to her everynight and Sam says she would rather him not have come home. Eventually the two start fighting and as the episode ends, Sam tells us ‘here we go, Miami all over again.’ For your sake and for ours Sam, I sure hope not.
I can’t take another season of Ron and Sam drama. I hated it in season 2 and I don’t even know why they returned in season 3. If the main focus of this season is their relationship I’m not going to be happy. I really hope this isn’t the direction they’re taking. The new roommate Deena still isn’t doing a whole lot and I think I’d rather Angelina, at least she provided good drama. Aside from those two things, season 3 is shaping up alright, this episode had a few good moments, particularly Vin stealing the girl from Sitch and the stalker girl in the club. Let’s hope next episode picks things up a bit though. Remember, next episode is airing at a special time, Monday, not Thursday. Keep that in mind.
