Come one, come all! Feast your eyes on your new God: Baby Yoda from The Mandalorian, as he prepares to heal all that wounds the world. You can now take home a piece of the action yourself, too, if you’re into one very specific picture of the tiniest lil’ Force user out there.
Yeah, so, Disney, smelling the dough, released some cheap, janky-ass merchandise to celebrate Baby Yoda. This usually wouldn’t be something to report on, since, as consumers, we already know to consume, but this time, the House of Mouse done goofed. They released a shabby-looking set of standard merchandise choices – a few T-shirts, a coffee mug, a phone case – all with the same picture of “The Child” as he’s technically known as, and that’s it.
It seemed like the studio wanted to keep all things Baby Yoda pretty hush-hush at first, somehow not sensing that he’d be a huge revelation that could change the world as we know it. Hell, they’re still taking down GIFs on Twitter, claiming copyright somehow.
Only now have they confirmed that they don’t actually care about letting people express their love for a tiny green gooball in any wholesome way. No, you must consume and show affection only in the way the corporate overlords with the giant ears say how to. Buy this stupid shirt with a boring picture of a cute Baby Yoda on it! Or a dumb coffee mug! It all sucks.
WHERE IS MY DAMN BABY YODA PLUSHY? I want something to cuddle, not slurp out of! Not spill pasta sauce on and ruin immediately. I want a Baby Yoda backpack so I can physically load him with everything I love. I want, like, a cat toy so I can share Baby Yoda with my adorable wife. Seriously Disney, you really dropped the ball here, and The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda fans won’t forget.