New Girl Review: “Coach” (Season 3, Episode 7)

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Because, if we’re honest, Artie is everything Nick isn’t. He’s everything all of them isn’t – that’s a terrible sentence, but it’s going to stay. He’s around the same age as the guys, a business owner, and he needs to get home because he values his mornings – sure, Schmidt has an 8am presentation which requires him to arrive at 7:45am to lower the chairs, but he’s still in a strip club on a Tuesday evening. Artie could coach them all in the ways of life, but that wouldn’t make for a very entertaining show. When he becomes a little seedy at the end, that’s when it became clear that he had to go. I honestly didn’t think Nick would take charge as quickly and effectively, and as Nickly, as he did, but more power to him.

Let’s talk about Winston and the bunny money for a second. Hooooo boy. Winston, Winston, Winston. That whole story really made me laugh, because every detail was perfect. I loved that he withdrew $2000. $2000! Who withdraws $2000? Winston does, because Winston can’t do anything right, apparently. It’s an innately funny idea, and his attempts to spend the money while Coach cries and everybody just wants to go home just got funnier and funnier.

Meanwhile, Schmidt didn’t have a lot to do, besides drunkenly fight with Nick and reveal how much he hates living in his loft across the way. I’m glad that reveal was glossed over somewhat, because Schmidt’s had enough rough times this season. Don’t show us his crippling loneliness, for God’s sake.

Suffice to say, we do end on a high note in this week’s New Girl. Nick, Jess, and everyone back together as one happy family, eating V. Rabb’s pizza and meatballs, on Winston’s bunny dime.

Random Robservations

  • I loved how terrible Cece was at distracting Nick.
  • The explanatory flashback on Winston’s “Shrimp Forks” nickname was golden.
  • Nick’s facial reactions get better every single goddamn time.