New Girl Review: “Coach” (Season 3, Episode 7)

I never liked Coach, back in the day. He was only in Pilot, but I never liked him. He seemed to jar with the rest of the New Girl cast. Maybe it's because he appeared, at least superficially, successful and nice. Maybe he was too good looking. Maybe he wasn't damaged enough for my tastes. Whatever it was, I took against him. It might be a childish reaction, or sulky, or whatever; suffice to say, I didn't like him. So when I saw on Wikipedia an upcoming episode entitled "Coach," my heart sank a little bit. Not too much, obviously - it's just a TV show, and who knows? It might be great. I'm not one to take television that seriously, really, even though I write reviews twice weekly for this very site. That week, the "Coach" week, that week is this week, and you know what? It wasn't half bad.

new girl s03e07 02

Recommended Videos

Because, if we’re honest, Artie is everything Nick isn’t. He’s everything all of them isn’t – that’s a terrible sentence, but it’s going to stay. He’s around the same age as the guys, a business owner, and he needs to get home because he values his mornings – sure, Schmidt has an 8am presentation which requires him to arrive at 7:45am to lower the chairs, but he’s still in a strip club on a Tuesday evening. Artie could coach them all in the ways of life, but that wouldn’t make for a very entertaining show. When he becomes a little seedy at the end, that’s when it became clear that he had to go. I honestly didn’t think Nick would take charge as quickly and effectively, and as Nickly, as he did, but more power to him.

Let’s talk about Winston and the bunny money for a second. Hooooo boy. Winston, Winston, Winston. That whole story really made me laugh, because every detail was perfect. I loved that he withdrew $2000. $2000! Who withdraws $2000? Winston does, because Winston can’t do anything right, apparently. It’s an innately funny idea, and his attempts to spend the money while Coach cries and everybody just wants to go home just got funnier and funnier.

Meanwhile, Schmidt didn’t have a lot to do, besides drunkenly fight with Nick and reveal how much he hates living in his loft across the way. I’m glad that reveal was glossed over somewhat, because Schmidt’s had enough rough times this season. Don’t show us his crippling loneliness, for God’s sake.

Suffice to say, we do end on a high note in this week’s New Girl. Nick, Jess, and everyone back together as one happy family, eating V. Rabb’s pizza and meatballs, on Winston’s bunny dime.

Random Robservations

  • I loved how terrible Cece was at distracting Nick.
  • The explanatory flashback on Winston’s “Shrimp Forks” nickname was golden.
  • Nick’s facial reactions get better every single goddamn time.

We Got This Covered is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article Review: ‘Knuckles’ is cringy, corny, nonsensical, and the best chapter in Paramount’s ‘Sonic’ franchise
Knuckles fighting a metal tentacle in Paramount+'s Knuckles
4 stars
Read Article Review: ‘Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver’ is a nadir for Zack Snyder, and streaming cinema as a whole
1 stars
Read Article Review: ‘Abigail’ would’ve been a must-see horror movie if its own marketing hadn’t sabotaged it
Alisha Weir wearing a blood-stained white ballerina dress in horror movie Abigail
3.5 stars
Read Article Review: ‘The People’s Joker’ probably succeeds as its own court jester, but isn’t so much for the people
2 stars
Read Article Review: ‘Civil War’ is a symphony of doom, and we all need to listen up
Nick Offerman as the President of the United States in 'Civil War'
5 stars
Related Content
Read Article Review: ‘Knuckles’ is cringy, corny, nonsensical, and the best chapter in Paramount’s ‘Sonic’ franchise
Knuckles fighting a metal tentacle in Paramount+'s Knuckles
4 stars
Read Article Review: ‘Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver’ is a nadir for Zack Snyder, and streaming cinema as a whole
1 stars
Read Article Review: ‘Abigail’ would’ve been a must-see horror movie if its own marketing hadn’t sabotaged it
Alisha Weir wearing a blood-stained white ballerina dress in horror movie Abigail
3.5 stars
Read Article Review: ‘The People’s Joker’ probably succeeds as its own court jester, but isn’t so much for the people
2 stars
Read Article Review: ‘Civil War’ is a symphony of doom, and we all need to listen up
Nick Offerman as the President of the United States in 'Civil War'
5 stars
Author
Rob Batchelor
Male, Midlands, mid-twenties.