Rosemary’s Baby Review: “Night One”

Does this method work? For me, not one bit, as I loved how Polanski slowly and subtly dished out satanic information throughout his film. This time around, there’s really no mystery. No build-up. Cultish gatherings are hinted at early and often, Guy’s relationship with Roman isn’t kept under wraps, and Rosemary’s sex scene is displayed for all to see because sex sells. Who needs palpable tension when you have flying(?) shirtless men watching a drugged woman being raped by evil forces? Polanski lets his viewers decide whether or not Rosemary’s fever dream actually happened in reality, but Saldana’s character does the work for you, creating nothing but a spoon-fed story about being the Devil’s baby mama. NBC’s television show has removed the challenge of Rosemary’s Baby and replaced each question with obvious answers (Guy’s tears just before Rosemary drifts into sleepy land), making “Night One” a rather fruitless affair. Sorry, a rather LONG, fruitless affair.

Also amped up are moments of gore, as we’ve already seen a slit throat, chopped up body, and bouts of cannibalism – bringing a bloody messiness to Rosemary’s Baby. In true remake fashion, script workers have ignored what made Polanski’s original film so successful, swapping out chills for gross-outs based on a bland generalization that all horror requires some splattery distractions every now and then. Polanski proved horror can be terrifying even given minimal deaths and a shortage of slashings – and NBC is exemplifying why.

So let’s wrap this up – Rosemary still has the amulet, a main plot point that can’t be ignored, but the Woodhouses also have a feline friend this time around. Being a gift from the Castevets, one has to assume the cat is responsible for some of Rosemary’s deathly nightmares, but that hair-raising addition is yet to be fully expanded upon, even though one can assume. I mean, who gifts an animal to new friends without satanic intentions? Just doesn’t seem reasonable, right?

With “Night One” in the books, Rosemary’s Baby is off to an unfavorable start – one that will require some serious departing from telegraphed story material if success is to be found. The true fun in Polanski’s film is the hunt, not the kill, but NBC has gone ahead and removed the chase aspect for you – as if audiences are hunting a legless, blindfolded sloth. Hurdling towards inevitability, I can only hope “Night Two” represents a flashy, excitement filled conclusion, because from what I’ve just seen, storytelling will certainly be taking a back seat to hot, shirtless baddies, some more organ eating, and plenty of unnecessary violence.

Trust me, the farther NBC’s Rosemary’s Baby strays away from Polanski’s original at this point, the better.