Do you have some extra coin to toss to The Witcher this holiday season? Then you’re definitely in luck because there are bushels of Witcher-related gifts for all the Geralts and Yennefers in your life.
Whether you’re a fan of the video games, the show, or both, there’s enough Witcher-related merchandise around to keep even your grumpiest Vesemir-like friend happy. There are books, action figures, jewelry and even coloring books available for purchase.
With so many things to choose from, it can get a little overwhelming. Let us guide you through the commercial world of The Witcher merchandise so you won’t end up empty handed and defeated like every monster that comes in contact with Geralt’s sword.
Let’s start with the easy ones.
A Netflix subscription
If you want to get someone interested in the show, one of the best ways to go about that is by gifting them a Netflix subscription, so they can watch the show themselves.
You don’t have to pay for a year or anything. Just give someone your password, and gift them their own profile. Once they watch the show, change your password. When they ask, make up an elaborate story about your pet needing surgery or something and change the subject.
Seriously though. The best Witcher gift you can give someone is turning them on to the show, which is much better than it has any business being.
This is a phenomenal gift for someone who loves the show and has never played the video game. By video game, we mean The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt. Sure, two other games came before it, but they were nowhere near as influential.
The majority of the base material for the show comes from this incredible game. It’s an open-world RPG where you basically do what happens in the show. The game has sold more than 10 million copies, and it’s widely considered one of the best games of all time.
If you’ve never played it, stop whatever you’re doing and buy this game. It’s been around a while, and it’s not expensive anymore. Do it! Oh, and get the Complete Edition with the DLC included.
Geralt in Bath figure
Anyone who familiar with Geralt knows he loves baths. Buy this a figurine referencing an iconic scene found at the beginning of The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt for all those bath enthusiasts out there who also happen to love The Witcher.
The figure is made of resin and comes in a sweet, officially licensed box. Here’s the official product description:
“Originally an in-game scene, turned internet meme, turned CD Projekt Red April Fools joke, the demand that this be brought to life from Witcher fans became too great to bear. Dark Horse is proud to bring you this marvelously detailed, hand-painted Polynesian statuette featuring Geralt of Rivia relaxing and healing from his perilous journeys, in a candlelit bath, complete with his rubber ducky!”
You can purchase Geralt in the bath here.
I know what you’re thinking—there are a lot of Witcher comics out there, so where to start? This is the perfect place to dip your toe into the illustrated world of the universe. This collection features issues #1–#5 of The Witcher comic series House of Glass, Fox Children, Curse of Crows, and the Killing Monsters one-shot with annotations from the creators of the comics as well as a sketchbook section.”
It’s written by Eisner award-winning author Paul Tobin, who “pens a fantasy epic of the adventures of Geralt of Rivia, a witcher—one of the few remaining monster hunters from the critically acclaimed video game fantasy The Witcher by CD Projekt Red!”
You can either purchase the physical book or get the digital version for much less.
The Witcher wallet
For when you want to carry your coin around in style, there’s this handsome and well-made wallet with the Witcher 3 insignia branded on the front of it. Open it up, and it has The Witcher Wild Hunt stitched in the interior.
It’s honestly pretty stylish and a good flex for when you’re at GameStop or the mall and want to impress someone with your level of fandom. The wallet has a polyurethane lining and has five card pockets and a see-through ID window pocket.
Here’s the official product description: “Store your Crown, Oren, or whatever preferred currency, in this fine travelling pouch. You’ll never have to turn down a bribe or gamble with your gold safely by your side.”
It’s officially licensed by CD Projekt Red, too, and it comes in black and brown. The black one has a silver logo which looks incredible, but the inside logo isn’t as visible. The brown is the opposite; the outside logo is less striking but the inside logo really pops. Buy it here.
Everyone knows that really cool guys live by the blade while other people waste time socializing, having sex, or working out. Even if you’re not the coolest around, you can still get a replica of Geralt’s sword so you can at least feel cool.
You’ll be studying the blade in no time with this stainless steel replica monster murderer. Wait. Scratch that. It’s only meant for humans, per the item’s description:
“Replica of Witcher Geralt of Rivia’s Steel Sword. According to lore, the steel sword is used to slay humans and mortal enemies. Stainless steel with hardwood handle wrapped in leather. 124cm. Comes with high quality leather wrapped wooden scabbard with zinc alloy fittings, as well as a buckled leather back strap. 1.9kg. Matching sword to Geralt’s Silver Sword.”
The perfect gift for the perfect nerd in your life. Just be warned that it’s a little pricey. Buy it here.
The Witcher pint glass set
What better way is there to play a Witcher-themed drinking game than with these official Witcher pint glasses? There’s not. For the drinking enthusiast in your life (you know a few), these well-made and officially licensed pint glasses will help take you to dreamland.
Need a drinking game idea? Here’s a good one: Take a sip when Geralt says “hmmm” or groans, rolls his eyes or talks about Roach. Take a big sip when he gets hurt, uses magic, or kisses someone. Finish your drink when a monster dies (one per type) or during, “Toss a coin to your witcher.” Be warned, he grunts a lot, so you will be drunk fairly quickly. Drink responsibly. Buy the glasses here. They’re unfortunately not cheap.
The Witcher flask set
Not to keep on the drinking theme for too long but this is, for the right person, the coolest gift on this list. It’s faux leather bound, has the Wild Hunt logo and even comes with two little silver cups, so you can share in between monster slaying with your replica sword.
It’s made of steel and holds eight ounces of whatever you want to put inside it. Here’s the official product description:
“Everyone could use a good drink after fighting off a Berserker or slaughtering an Alghoul. Share a shot with comrades with this deluxe Witcher flask set. Comes complete with an 8 oz. Faux leather bound flask and 2 individual metal shot glasses, all tooled with the iconic Witcher Wolf head emblem, and a funnel for easy filling. The shots and flask are made from stainless steel and are packaged in a high quality gift box.”
Buy it here.
This sweet flat brim is for the combination Witcher/baseball fan in your life. It’s stylish and stitched with a striking white wolf logo that’s for sure going to impress fellow Witcher fans and alienate potential dates who don’t watch the show. Then again, who would date someone who doesn’t watch The Witcher?
It’s made of acrylic, wool, and spandex and has universal sizing. You can finally sport the white wolf with whatever outfit you choose to wear that day. Buy it here.
Witcher pocket watch
Absolutely and unequivocally one of the neatest items on this list. This watch is made with brass to give it that antique feel, and it’s beautifully engraved all over. The details are what make this thing sing and it comes with a necklace in case you want to wear it as one.
It’s also a little water resistant, but not totally (no bathing or swimming with it on). Inside the watch is Japanese quartz movement and beautiful Arabic numerals. This is a one-of-a-kind gift that would make even the grumpiest Witcher fan go “hmmmm.”
Witcher Adult Coloring Book
What better way to connect with your inner child than with a graphic and bloody adult coloring book? A good way to pass the time during the holidays when your Uncle Jim starts being borderline racist any chance he gets. Take a gander at the description:
“Journey along with Geralt, Ciri, Triss, Yennefer, Roach, Shani, and all of your favorite Witcher characters in a variety of fantastic settings . . . all inspired by the hit video game franchise with The Witcher Adult Coloring Book. Featuring uniquely designed and highly detailed black and white illustrations inspired by the games; this compilation of exquisitely crafted images is a must-have for Witcher fans worldwide!”
What fun! Pick up the coloring book here.