Even an appearance by Amy Farrah Fowler couldn’t stop The Desperation Emanation from largely falling flat. This wasn’t a terrible episode, but it’s certainly season 4’s least amusing to date. The opening segment, in fact, is a decent preview of the episode that follows; Leonard and Sheldon’s banter regarding girlfriends and “Hulk” movies and jealousy was typical “Bang” stuff, minus any true laugh-out-loud moments. Amy Farrah Fowler, of course, as Sheldon points out—as Sheldon constantly points out—is a girl who’s his friend; she is not, however, his “girlfriend.” Still, that gives Sheldon an emotionally satisfying relationship with a female, whereas poor, green-eyed Leonard has none.
Leonard claims not to be jealous, but, after enduring a barrage of jibes about his involuntary bachelorhood, he invokes the girlfriend pact to Howard, who’s happily dating Bernadette again. Leonard and Howard made the pact years before, of course, promising that, if either of them ever landed a hot girlfriend, the other would set his friend up on a blind date with one of his girlfriend’s friends. Howard first invoked the pact in last season’s “The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary,” and met Bernadette as a result.
Howard agrees and, per the pact, he and Bernadette double with Leonard and his blind date. Too bad Leonard’s date—Joy (Charlotte Newhouse)—is a freak. She starts off by arriving late from spin class—wholly underdressed in a tank top—and promptly wiping her underarms using the restaurant’s fancy cloth napkins.
Bernadette knows Joy through an Israeli-based self defense class, which, Joy explains, basically teaches “a hundred ways to rip a guy’s nuts off.” The fun doesn’t stop there either; throughout the date Joy demonstrates her considerable belching skills and, before going to the lavatory, comments on the aroma of her urine after eating the asparagus. It’s a nightmare date for Leonard, but he nonetheless accepts Joy’s offer to accompany him to a wedding the following weekend. Why?
As Joy explains: “It’s an open bar; so I’ll probably be giving it [sex] away.” Leonard can’t wait and there’s probably a good chance we’ll see Joy again sometime in season 4—especially with series regular Kaley Cuoco convalescing from a horseback-riding accident.
Meanwhile, Amy Farrah Fowler asks Sheldon to meet her mother. Sheldon panics and asks Leonard for advice. Amy, Leonard tells him, probably wants to take their relationship to the next level, meaning she’ll formally become his girlfriend. Sheldon doesn’t like that at all, but he’s a physicist, not a hippie and thus won’t stoop to telling Amy how he feels.
“All right,” Leonard says, sounding like he’s giving a class lecture and setting up the episode’s funniest moment. “Let me see if I can explain your situation using physics.
“What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?”
Sheldon doesn’t hesitate. “Screwed.”
“There you go,” Leonard replies and rushes away.
It’s all for naught, though, as Amy eventually reveals she doesn’t want to become Sheldon’s girlfriend in truth, but only to create a ruse to appease and silence her mother’s nagging. Otherwise, Amy’s content to leave things unchanged.
The episode ends with Sheldon and Amy teleconferencing with her mother. Sheldon assures Mrs. Fowler that he and Amy are having “regular intercourse”; they are, in fact, like “wild animals in heat,” and it’s amazing neither of them has been hurt.
“My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins,” Amy says as the pair signs off. Sheldon adds: “Oh yes; it’s time for me to make love to your daughter’s vagina,” and we hear a mortified squeal as Sheldon closes the laptop. Roll credits.
The Vanity Card
“Sometimes my life seems to be a never-ending succession of unhappy women.”
“Restaurant bathroom doors should be identified with the words, “men” and “women.” Silhouettes and cartoon drawings of sombreros, bowler hats, puffy skirts and pretty mouths do not provide enough information for drunks.”
“Jesus” Last Supper was clearly not organized to encourage conversation.”
“My memory of you is better than you.”
“Erectile dysfunction commercials cause erectile dysfunction.”
Words of a prophet,
written on a subway wall
and tenement hall