8. Squilliam Returns – season 3, episode 48b:
The title of this episode is referring to the original appearance of Squilliam Fancyson, an amazing caricature of what Squidward wishes he was, in a season two episode, Band Geeks, which is featured higher on the list. I mostly love this episode because, well, I love Squilliam. He brings out the best in Squidward; there’s nothing funnier than when Squidward is angry – and he’s gonna do something about it.
This enraged side of Squidward, seen in many an episode, gets a full eleven minutes in Squilliam Returns, when Squidward accidentally tells Squilliam that he owns a five-star restaurant. When Squilliam says he’ll be there for dinner, the Krusty crew pulls together to help transform the Krusty Krab. There’s something really endearing about Spongebob and Mr. Krabs trying to help out Squidward, who is so begrudging towards them each day.
Also – there’s nothing cuter than fancy-waiter Spongebob, who empties his mind of nothing but fine dining. Fine dining, and breathing.
7. Dying For Pie – season 2, episode 24a:
It’s “Employee Brotherhood Day” at the Krusty Krab, meaning employees have to make homemade gifts for their co-workers. Spongebob makes Squidward a sweater made of eyelashes (“I wasn’t sure how big to make the head, so I used a watermelon for size!”), and when Squidward rejects it, Spongebob makes him a sweater of his own tears.
Conveniently – there’s a mysterious crew of pirates outside who have seemingly thousands of pies, and they sell one to Squidward to be his “homemade” gift to Spongebob. It’s only after Spongebob assumedly eats it that Squidward realizes the pie was a bomb, giving Spongebob until sundown for the bomb to hit his lower intestine, making him explode.
Squidward darkly chooses not to tell Spongebob, but does spend the day with him, doing whatever shenanigans Spongebob wants to do on his last day alive. When the sun sets and Spongebob doesn’t explode, one of my favorite Spongebob lines follows:
Squidward: I spent the whole day with you, doing all kinds of ridiculous things, because you were supposed to explode!
Spongebob: …you want me to explode?
Squidward: Yes! That’s what I’ve been waiting for!
Spongebob: Okay, I’ll try… GARY! YOU ARE GONNA FINISH YOUR DESSERT, AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!