Why does Dani from ‘Love on the Spectrum’ live with her aunt?

One of the runaway hits from the last few years is the incredibly endearing Netflix dating show Love on the Spectrum, which features people on the autism spectrum and highlights their adventures in finding love. One of the show’s stars, Dani, lives with her aunt and uncle, and alludes to a difficult situation with her birth parents. There’s a reason for that, which we’ll thoroughly explore here.

While on the surface it may seem like a gimmick show, at its core it’s a show about love and humanity, and what it means to search for those things in the modern age. Since its premiere on in May of 2022, the show’s become a phenomenon of sorts.

The latest season is no different. It premiered on Jan. 19, and its one of those shows that people just know about. It also made the cast fairly famous, with many of them harboring massive followings on social media.

Before we dig into the Dani question, let’s explore some background.

Why is Love on the Spectrum so popular?

Far from being a downer, the show is uplifting and often hilarious. It originally hails from Australia, where a show with the exact same format ran from 2019 to 2021. Netflix picked up the show exclusively after that, and subscribers to the streamer have been reaping the benefits of that deal ever since.

The idea for Love on the Spectrum comes from Cian O’Clery, who appears off camera frequently as he communicates with the cast. O’Clery got the idea for the show after his time on another, similar show, called Employable Me. That show spotlights people living with various disabilities as they try to navigate the workforce.

Love on the Spectrum is filmed a certain way, and that has a lot to do with its popularity. It’s very hands-off and shot in a distant documentary style, where you feel like you’re really just watching life unfold.

There’s no “set” level of autism, either. Every participant is at different places on the spectrum, with some symptoms and behaviours more apparent in certain people than others. Part of its charm lies in focusing on people you don’t necessarily see on TV on a regular basis.

Every character is unique in their own way, and this adds a lot of variety to the proceedings, and the show gives every character space to really be themselves. There’s also the added tension of each person going on a date: Getting ready, being nervous, wanting things to go well, etc. These are all very human, relatable behaviors that really make the show a gem to watch.

It’s a show that gives us some escapism, but it also has an uplifting bent based on how much these people really just want love and all it has to offer. It’s hard not to root for that! There’s also the returning faces from season one. Abbey and David are back, and we get to see them go from first date to a trip to Africa full of lions and adventure.

Also back: Dani, who wants love but also has very specific wants when it comes to a partner. One of those wants includes someone who’s into animation and cartoons. Watching her navigate that is fairly eye-opening and reflective, and it’s made Dani very popular.

Why doesn’t Dani live with her parents?

One thing that’s clear but not really explored too deeply, besides some slight exposition, is Dani’s living situation. She loves with her aunt and uncle, Sandra and Patrick, and alludes to some issues with her birth parents.

In the first episode of the second season, she goes on a blind date with potential match Matt. The date seems to go about as well it can, and in the lead-up to the date we get a little more information about her past. Before the date, she reveals: “I used to live with my parents, um, but it didn’t last that long. It’s a sad story.”

Dani’s real parents are named Myrna Vielma and Robert Bowman. The two reportedly divorced in 2010. Dani doesn’t seem to have a relationship with her father, but she does sometimes post pictures of herself hanging out with her mother on Facebook.

Before the show aired, Dani shared a little bit about her father, and shared an article called Autism’s Lost Generation.

“I really wish my own father would have gotten a diagnosis, but he is now lost among the homeless. I really think and worry about him especially during this time of year. That is why once again this year, I will be out feeding the homeless this Christmas. If only he had gotten help.”

We can surmise from this difficult post that Dani’s father is troubled and seemingly homeless. Dani shared more in other posts as well. In one post from 2016, she shared that she wished she could “send a letter back in time” to her parents, when they “first realized I was different.”

She tells them to not view her through “her deficits” but through her strengths, and that everything will work out if this personal creed is followed. This will allow them to “stop being scared” and “start to be proud” of her.

“I can’t imagine the disappointment, and/or the terror that you must of felt when I was first diagnosed or when you first realize I was different,” she said. “I wish I could go back in time and comfort you.”

This feels like there was a possibility that her parents couldn’t handle her autism. That doesn’t mean we should feel bad for her, though. Dani has a great life and lots of love and support from her aunt and uncle, something she wouldn’t be able to get from her real parents.

Dani appeared on the Fails, Falls & F-Ups a few years ago to talk about her love of animation and her upbringing, and she credits her aunt and uncle for helping her start her animation company.

“Sandy and Patrick noticed it all. They just noticed my gifts. So what they did is that they help me get my company started,” she said.

With support like that, it’s no surprise that Dani has come so far in her life.