‘You don’t want to be heartbroken’: Dotun Olubeko shares his conflicting feelings leading up to ‘The Bachelorette’ proposal

Dotun Olubeko opened up about his mindset going into his proposal to Charity Lawson in the season finale of The Bachelorette season 20.

Although he didn’t know it at the time, Lawson had already said goodbye to runner-up Joey Graziadei and decided to choose Olubeko. “As happy as I was to have the potential, part of you knows that if you don’t get what you want, you’re going to be devastated and that’s going to be a tough thing to deal with,” he told People about his mindset at that time.

“You realize, ‘I dropped my life and I took this risk and I found someone that I loved and are they going to choose me?’” he continued. “I couldn’t speak throughout most of the day. I think I might’ve said, outside of the proposal, 10 words coherently. It was a lot of tears.” He also shared with People that the day of the proposal was the “toughest, most emotional day” out of the whole season for him and “one of the weirdest days” of his life.

Olubeko admitted during the show that he had no idea what he’d signed up for with The Bachelorette and hadn’t realized when he signed on that there was usually an engagement at the end. “I know it’s about dating, and love, and someone chooses someone at the end, but I didn’t know if you just date, or if you propose, or if you get married. I had no clue,” he revealed. That said, it didn’t faze the integrative medicine consultant, as he knew that he’d be willing to get down on one knee and commit to the person he loved.

However, the format was a difficult one to wrap his head around and he said he tried not to get his hopes up and keep his emotions “compartmentalized.” He said it was around the time of the trip to Fiji that he started feeling like he and Lawson would be leaving the show together, but he had to catch himself and manage his expectations given that other men were building really strong connections too. “You don’t want to be heartbroken, so you got to be careful with that mindset,” he pointed out.

The moment of the proposal was a sweet one for the couple, as Lawson told Olubeko that he’d made her feel “alive.” She gave him her final rose and told him she could see the two together forever and had no doubts in her mind about choosing him. Olubeko then got down on one knee and told the Georgia native that she’d “inspired” him and he wanted to turn their fairy tale romance into a reality.