Is there really a Glasgow Willy Wonka-inspired horror film called ‘The Unknown’ in the works?

Even taking the base concept of The Unknown out of the equation, the world, as you’ve probably ascertained, is bad. It’s a bad place for bad people, and bad things happen in it. 

Sometimes, humans like to comfort ourselves by thinking that we can contain the bad, the way that we did in Glasgow in early 2024 when a pop up called “Willy’s Chocolate Experience” was swiftly shut down by a confluence of law enforcement officers and the kinds of mothers who would like to speak to the manager. For the uninitiated, the short-lived event became a viral sensation, billing itself as a magical, immersive dive into the world of Roald Dahl’s classic novel, only to turn out to be a sparsely-decorated warehouse populated by slightly-paid actors. Particularly puzzling was the addition of an original, candy-based antagonist to the experience, a shadowy chocolatier called The Unknown who looked like a member of Jabbawockeez if they lived in a basement and hunted rats for food.

But hey. We got a handle on it. The authorities were contacted, and Willy’s Chocolate Experience was safely relegated to the past, where it can’t hurt anyone ever again. A scam? Sure, but a largely harmless one. Order won the day. The bad was contained.

Except it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t. Because now The Unknown is getting its own movie. Because the world is bad.

‘Willy’s Chocolate Experience’ isn’t over until we say it’s over.

As relayed by the good folks at Bloody Disgusting, Scottish film studio Kaledonia Pictures is rushing an Unknown-centric horror film into production, eyeing a theatrical release later in 2024. In it, a couple grieving the loss of their child, Charlie, will be pursued by The Unknown. Further details have yet to be disclosed, or, in all likelihood, written yet. How much of the story takes place in a Glasgow warehouse populated by dead-eyed community theater actors in orange body paint remains to be seen.

It feels worth mentioning that Kaledonia Pictures has little to no internet presence at the time of this writing, with zero credited feature films released to date. In a perfect world, horror fans will learn later this year that The Unknown was written and directed by the people responsible for Willy’s Chocolate Experience, and that the film is just the next phase in a multi-part plan to make a billion dollars off of a rented warehouse in the Highlands, and a chrome plastic mask from a Spirit Halloween.