‘You’re a walking human time bomb’: New Yorker wields the power of the internet to warn stranger about dangerous coffee mistake

Between genuine concern for unknowing Chameleon Cold-Brew concentrate consumers and sounding the alarm in the most gut-busting manner possible, there’s a certain balance that must be struck.

It’s hard to say for sure if TikTok‘s @jakewcornell managed to strike said balance in his recent PSA about the dangers of accidentally picking up a concentrate bottle instead of an actual Chameleon Cold-Brew. That question of balance does, however, come second to that of the ungodly blood-caffeine ratio currently plaguing an unnamed New Yorker, who’s no doubt plowing ahead in their life with a walking speed that eclipses several lightyears per hour.

In the video, our hero Jake delivers a minute-long monologue to the poor soul he saw drinking an enormous bottle of Chameleon Cold-Brew concentrate as though it were a regular coffee, who likely didn’t realize that the bottle was holding the equivalent of 48 to 64 ounces of coffee (according to the bottle itself), or about the amount of caffeine required to, as Jake puts it, “Kool-Aid Man through a wall.”

His animated delivery of this warning is hysterically funny, but the somewhat panicky demeanor is more than justified; according to the Mayo Clinic, the safe ballpark for daily caffeine consumption by an adult ends at about 400 milligrams, and a 32-ounce bottle of Chameleon Cold-Brew concentrate measures about 840mg of caffeine. In other words, Jake may have just watched this stranger plant the seed of a caffeine overdose.

Little did Jake probably know, however, that drinking Chameleon Cold-Brew concentrate is the coolest thing in the world if it gifts you some internet points, hence some of the videos that spawned in which folks pretended to be the concentrate glutton in question.

But don’t let the shiny promise of being associated with this iconic video fool you, folks; you should always be keeping a close eye on your coffee and coffee-related products, unless you don’t mind your heartbeat being heard around the world as your mortal essence enters, exits, and re-enters the atmosphere with every breath you take.