Generally speaking, when you hear one or more bloodcurdling scream come from inside someone’s apartment (or anywhere, really), it’s no outrageous instinct to feel a twinge of concern about such an elusively disturbing ordeal. And if the screams are severe enough to prompt a neighbor or bystander to get the police involved, they would probably emerge as a hero of the day later on.
That wasn’t quite what happened in the case of TikTok‘s @pradastraightjacket, however; in fact, it would probably be in the best interest of everyone involved if this was never spoken about again, lest they find themselves consistently waking up at 3AM in a cold sweat brought on by their most embarrassing memories, second-hand or otherwise.
In the video, we learn that @pradastraightjacket was loudly screaming for help in her home just moments ago, which of course was all the context her neighbor needed to think that maybe sending the police over was a good idea. Upon the cop’s arrival, however, @pradastraightjacket had little choice but to admit that the reason she was screaming for help was because her dog had farted, and it must have smelt horrible enough to have made her lose all sense of the world and begin screaming for help.
We never see the gas-passer in question, but she let out a small bark near the end of the video, presumably to fill her role as the alibi for the outlandish reason that @pradastraightjacket had been screaming so loudly for help. Luckily, we also learn that the pup was preparing for a trip to the ER later that week, so whatever Geneva Conventions-compromising mess is going on in her intestines, it has hopefully been quelled by now.
Indeed, make no mistake, people; those of us who have shared a space with a pungent pooch know that dog farts are the furthest thing from a joke. If there is any phenomenon on Earth that is capable of clearing out birthday parties, family dinners, and movie nights at the pace that canine flatulence can, then science simply has not gone far enough for us to observe it, and we should be thanking the scientists for their tardiness in that particular endeavor.
In any case, the mass extinction potential of dog farts remains thankfully untapped, but the records of such godless encounters still exist in barbecue anecdotes, the desperate cries of TikTokers, and now, presumably, paperwork of one policeman who dared to go on the front lines of ground zero (assuming he did make it out of that apartment alive, which we don’t yet have proof of), each account more nose-rattling than the last.
Published: May 14, 2024 09:30 am